tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43314406405870214242024-03-12T17:05:54.045-06:004 teh lulzFor someone, somewhere in the world, today is the best day of their life. twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-15839768340742421242017-02-06T02:49:00.001-07:002017-02-06T02:49:27.046-07:00Two Week, Feeling WeakIt's been two weeks now...<br />
<br />
Two weeks...<br />
<br />
That's it, that's all the time that has passed since we broke up. It honestly has felt like so god damn long but it has still only been two weeks. That's what I hate about this. I've been stuck inside my head so much these past two weeks that it feels like centuries has passed.<br />
<br />
Now I should clarify all this by saying, I only knew Sam and dated her for roughly 3-4 months. In the grand scheme of life, I know I'll be ok, but right now it really sucks. I thought she was incredible... actually I still think she is. I felt like things were going well for us. Up until a tuesday night before we broke up. We went and saw la la land (good movie, but now it's a bad memory), and I made a joke that hurt her feelings. She was cuddling with a blanket that was really soft (to her credit, it was a really soft blanket). I said, "You used to cuddle me that way." I feel like I was just being playful but she was really hurt by that.<br />
<br />
To be honest I didn't think that was really an issue until tonight. I stumbled on her instagram (to be honest, I should probably just remove her from my fb, snapchat, insta, all forms of social media. It just brings up bad memories looking at it, but I feel terrible blocking her). Anyways I saw the comic she had been writing about her boyfriend before me. He was emotionally abusive and controlling. I knew that pretty early on when we met. She never really told me but I saw some posts she made about him. I tried not to ask her about it. I figured if she wanted to talk to me about him, I'd let her bring it up. I wouldn't press her for it, but I'm rambling. The point is tonight she posted some stuff about her breakup. When she realized he was abusive and hurting her. She found a list of signs that he was abusive and one of the things was mean jokes...<br />
<br />
Now I don't think I was truly emotionally abusive, but the aforementioned joke about the blanket... What if that brought back those painful memories? She was only about a year removed from this bad relationship ending. Those wounds are still relatively fresh. What if I was, to some degree, without even realizing it, hurting someone I thought I loved?<br />
<br />
Honestly, this scares me. I thought I was a safe person to be around, but shit, I didn't even know it. What scares me most is that I know this is going to make me even more self conscious of the things I say around potential prospects, and I know it requires a certain degree of "boldness" when talking to a girl... I feel like I'm saying this wrong. I need to think about how to word this better. Anyways, while I think this may have been an issue that caused our breakup, I don't think this is the only thing.<br />
<br />
Now the events of the actual breakup are kinda blurry for me. Not like I was drunk or anything, but when she was actually... dumping me, I regressed into my head to A. process whether I could save the relationship or not B. think of the words to say C. Accept that after I left that coffee house, she would not be my girlfriend anymore... The point is, when I regress into my own head, I kinda only half listen. However, from what I heard she was rather vague about why we were breaking up. One thing she said was that she wasn't really sure about how she felt about me, and this is something that has weighed on my mind heavily these past two weeks.<br />
<br />
There's a certain level of relationship I really enjoy. It's like at the point where you're comfortable saying "I love you" to each other regularly and you don't really need to let each other know you're gonna hang out. It's almost implied. Anyways, we had said "I love you" to each other in mid December. I had thought about it for a couple weeks, but that night we got really drunk and I said it, and she said it, and we hugged and kissed a lot and were very happy. Anyways, for those of you keeping score at home. We had met in mid september, Maybe started "dating" a week or two after that. At most, we were together for 3 months before I said it... I think I'm saying it too soon.<br />
<br />
This goes back to my very first relationship. Jacquie said it after a couple weeks, and I thought after that I thought really soon was appropriate. Anyways, I've always been the first to say it. Always. And this one was no different, though for the record, I held off much longer than I have in pretty much every other relationship. It's probably a record for me. And I think to some degree, I scared her off. I rushed her into it. I convinced her to love me before she was ready and... again, I'm tired and I think I'm not quite getting the words right... I tried to force her to love me...<br />
<br />
You know the more I read over this, the more I think I should see a therapist. I feel like s/he could really help me sort this out. I think I'm going to look into that tomorrow.<br />
<br />
Anyways, the reason I think about this is because of Meghan. When Alecia and I broke up and I moved back to Boise, she was the first girl I pursued. Well, except for Lindsay, but that relationship was doomed very early on. However, it may prove relevant. Anyways, things were going well between us early on. However, she had a bad breakup and wasn't looking for a serious relationship for a while. However, I wanted that relationship, and I pressed her for it. She wasn't ready and stood by that so... we broke up? Same with Lindsay too. I wanted to be at that comfortable level of relationship and I think I try to force it too much sometimes. Maybe that's what happened here too.<br />
<br />
Of course, I could just be grasping at straws here.<br />
<br />
Anyways, there's one more thing that I think about with this breakup. I really feel like that there's some flaw with me that she didn't like that caused her to break up with me. Maybe it's my own self hatred kicking in, but I wonder if there was something in my personality or something I said or did, that she didn't like and didn't want to be around any more.<br />
<br />
A couple days after the breakup I pressed her one more time for more information on why she was dumping me. When I did, she thought that I thought she cheated on me got upset with me about this. I truly don't think she cheated on me, BUT if I'm being totally honest with myself... ever since Alecia cheated on me, that's in the back of my mind all the time with relationships. Not that I constantly think to myself that girlfriends are going to cheat on me but rather... what if they do?<br />
<br />
This isn't really the point I was going for. I wanted to tell her that if something was wrong with me that caused the breakup, I want her to tell me, but do I want her to tell me? Is it something fixable? Is it something that can never be fixed? It's just who I am now? I don't know...<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
She left me a note in a book. I lent the book to her, but she never got around to reading it. It's ok. Shardanae lent me a book that I tried to read but I never could. I feel bad that I never gave it back to her. Anyways the note said we had fun. She was really happy.<br />
<br />
We were happy.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
This note is going to haunt me for sometime. This note just makes me think that somehow, someway... there's still a chance for us. Maybe she just wasn't ready and needed time for her... For school and to get her life ready... and maybe in a year or two or five, we could do it again... and be happy.<br />
<br />
Or maybe it was to say thank you, but this is it. She was happy but there wasn't a future here... for us... I don't know. It's late and these thoughts are weighing me down so fucking much right now.<br />
<br />
I saw her on tinder. Which of course means I'm on tinder. I kind of hate tinder. I don't feel like I'm really going to meet anyone on there. Maybe I should try another app. Maybe find one of those speed dating things. I don't know anymore.<br />
<br />
I swiped no to her. I think she needs time. And if I have to see her more without being with her well... it just hurts. It fucking hurts. I should probably block her. It's for the best.<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading this, whoever you are. It does mean something to me.twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-13877049796753209202015-11-08T19:30:00.000-07:002015-11-08T19:30:03.618-07:00Story time: The Most Honest Thing I've Ever WrittenTo be honest, I haven't written lately because I think I'm happy. Usually I use this blog as a "cry for help/notice me" kind of thing. However, lately I've been pretty content with my life. I mean sure, my favorite lol team is falling apart, same with my NFL team, our college ultimate team is nowhere near as good as last year, and our bscs team lost in playoffs already, but I'm pretty satisfied. Maybe it's because I'm so busy. Maybe it's because I kinda sorta have a girlfriend-ish. Maybe it's because I'm pretty over Alecia.<br />
Today I opened up a message from Alecia by accident. It was a little bit after we broke up and got back together. And it didn't make me sad. It made me feel happy. Happy that I was loved so unconditionally. Even though we had broken up she still truly loved me. It made me feel safe. Like, I did it once. I can do it again.<br />
Anyways, this made me think of this post from a long time ago. I originally posted this around the summer of 2012. After me and Alecia broke up and after me and Lindsay broke up. This was around my lowest low following those breakups, kind of like how my post "This House" was my lowest low after my second break up with Alecia. I really liked this post but after me and Alecia got back together, she said this really hurt her because I said some mean things about her in this and she asked me to delete it. Well I could never bring myself to truly delete this so I just made it private so no one could read it except me. Well it feels like it's time to post this again. Here's my story: The Most Honest Thing I've Ever Written<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">It's amazing how much things can change over the shortest course of time. It's amazing where I was a year ago, when I last posted on here. It's amazing where I was 3 weeks ago, where I was a day ago, and where I am now. And here I am, really alone. The most alone I've been in a long time really. So I guess it's time for me to be really truly honest about myself. This is going to offend some people to talk about but I need to say it aloud for some odd reason.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">It started on May 4th. I went to donate plasma like I have been doing for the past year or so. And I saw this girl. A girl wearing a cute blue dress and reading catch 22, a book I tried to read in high school but lost interest. And I normally have these weird little daydreams where this girl and I start up a conversation and suddenly realize how perfect we are for each and... I don't know. It's happens every now and then. It happened since I was in 7th grade with Cecilia Soto. Odds are she doesn't even remember who I am. We only talked a few times, but I developed this little daydream about her. Normally that's right where it ends, because the girl isn't interested in me or she has BF or something. Anyways, I move onto the next girl and life goes on. The first time this really changed was my freshman year of college. When I met a girl named Alecia. She was another little crush and she had a boyfriend. So normally that's right where it ends. But it didn't. I got her to break up with the BF for me. In fact, we kissed before they broke up. We were kissing for about a week before they broke up. I got her to fall for me over the boy that she had been with for almost a year. (This story is going to sound real familiar real soon.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Anyways, the daydream normally ends when I go home and onto my life. But it didn't. 2 days later I started working at Convergys, the worst place in the world. And she was there. The girl from the plasma center. The girl I had the daydream about. Normally this isn't too weird. I have these sorts of daydreams with girls I have classes with. Like this girl Kelsey I had a couple classes with last semester. The daydream gets more detailed as we slowly get to know each other more. But normally i get by because the girl has no interest in me or has a boyfriend. This time was different. She remembered me from the plasma center. She said I looked like this guy from her favorite band, Bright Eyes. I soon found out she didn't have a boyfriend. And she was falling for me. Which was bad. Cause I was falling for her too. By the next weekend, May 11th, I was already falling out of love with Alecia, and falling for this new girl, Lindsay. So I tried to break up with Alecia. But we didn't. She insisted I was panicing because we had just moved into together and we were entering a whole new level of commitment. And I was afraid she might be right, so I stayed with her. But I didn't feel that way. I really felt so much less for Alecia and so much more for Lindsay. Over the next few weeks that became more and more true. I started looking forward to work. Work at this god awful job for the brief moments where we had break and I could hang out with Lindsay. Yet I was still with Alecia. Because I was trying to remember how I felt about Alecia when we first met. How lovestruck I was. And I was trying to compare that to this. But i couldn't do it. All I could do is compare Alecia, after a year and a half together, to Lindsay, whom I just met. Of course Lindsay was going to win that battle. The newer thing is always more exciting. More interesting. It was never fair to Alecia. I hung out with Lindsay a few times outside of work too. We went to donate plasma together. And we went to a couple concerts. For a couple days, Alecia went home to Kuna and I got rides to work with Lindsay. I told Alecia that I was getting rides with Kelsey Morgan, this other girl we work with. I knew Alecia wouldn't get jealous of Kelsey because she wasn't too attractive. Alecia was rather shallow like that.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">However, everything changed on June 5th. Alecia had found out that I went to a concert with Lindsay because I left a message from Lindsay on Facebook that had details on the concert. You want to know the sad truth about this? I wanted Alecia to find out. I wanted her to see that and get mad and dump me. If I really wanted to keep it a secret, I would of deleted every bit of evidence. But I didn't. So on June 5th at approximately 11:30 am, I went to lunch. And I saw many texts from Alecia. She found the message and wanted to talk to me. So she came down to work and I told her the truth (and this is exactly what was said):</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">After some fighting:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Alecia: "Do you have anything else you want to say?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Me: "I like Lindsay."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Alecia: "How much?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Me: "Enough to want to break up with you."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">And that was it. I got out of the car and tried to go back to work but I couldn't. I felt to guilty. So I went home (or at least to my former home) and tried to help pack up everything. She was livid with me. I don't blame her. What I did was awful. She yelled at me until I left. I moved back into my old place at the elms and tried to settle there, and that's the weird thing. I wasn't crying. I really didn't feel that way for her anymore. That just made me feel more guilty. She asked me to help her pay rent for one more month. I didn't mind. Convergys pays really well at least for being such a bad job. I didn't see her again for a while.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Then we fast forward to June 7th: That was when I first held Lindsay's hand. And that night, after she got off work, we kissed. I thought this was exactly what I wanted. At the time, it was. I was happy for a while. But then me and lindsay started to get closer. Wanting to hang out almost every day. And I didn't mind that. I really liked it. But I always felt like I had to do something to entertain her. Not that I wouldn't entertain her. I tried. But I didn't really have any idea what to do. I wanted to do stuff but I didn't really know what. Pocatello isn't exactly teeming with things to do. And I was happy just watching a good tv show or movie with someone who was cool to hang out with. Maybe this was my own insecurities. I felt like I was boring and needed to find some way to be not boring. She wasn't. She wanted to do things. Go outside and live. But I didn't really know what to do. That was never the case with Alecia. Things were never difficult with her and sometimes we didn't know what to do but I never felt guilty for not having any ideas. It was just easy to be with her.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Then the big issue came up. She was LDS. I wasn't. I've studied some of the beliefs and I just don't really agree with them. My big issue with Mormonism (and most religions) is that I don't know what's going to happen after we die. And I like not knowing. It means it could be anything. Anything at all. It almost makes death exciting. It's a whole new adventure (Emo, amirite?). We talked a little about this. She said she could never see herself settling down with someone who isn't mormon. Ironically this is about the only time I've cried during this whole ordeal. I felt like she was giving up on us before we had even really had a chance. In hindsight this seems like the thing I should of been least sad about.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Then came June 25th, Yesterday actually. Alecia asked me to come pay rent and grab the last couple things from her house. When I got there, my heart was pounding. I have never felt it beat so loud. I really haven't. I nearly passed out from it. And she opened the door and there was a boy there. She said he was just a friend but I didn't believe her. I paid rent and we talked for a bit. She had shaved almost all of Teke's hair off. I didn't much like that. I think he looked better with the hair. But alas, I was only there for about 5 minutes and I went on my way. And there it was. All the feelings I should of felt when we were breaking up. The sadness. I guess I never really accept we're breaking up till I see the other person move on. That's how it's always been. Jacquie was dating someone else a week after we broke up. That one hurt. A lot. Addy didn't move on for a few months. And I wasn't sad about us breaking up until I saw she had moved on. And now Alecia. She had moved on and I was sad. I didn't cry though. I wanted to but I didn't. Lindsay was coming over in a little bit. I figured she'd make me feel better. She did for a little bit. Then there was another lull in the in our conversation. I was starting to know little differences between us. She was outgoing. She was honest. Honest with everyone. I'm not honest. I lie. I lie to people. My parents. My friends. Alecia. Lindsay. Even myself. I lie to everyone. This post is the most honest thing I've done in a long time. And during that lull I started to think of everything I missed with Alecia. I think it was just because that day I was really starting to get over her. But I told Lindsay the truth. I told her I wasn't over Alecia. She didn't want to be strung along while I was thinking about some other girl, ironically what I was doing with Alecia. So we broke up. She said I should talk to Alecia about this. She thought that we should be together. And that was it. She cut me out of her life. Defriended me on Facebook. Quit texting me and quit talking to me. It's probably for the best. It's much easier to get over someone if they aren't in your life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"> So that's what I decided to do with Aleica. I told her I still liked her. I told her I was sorry for everything that happened. And I told her that I couldn't be just friends with her. I told her that if she wanted to date other people, we can't be friends because it hurt too much to see her with someone else. But if she maybe wanted to be with me, then we could. She said she wanted to date other people and that maybe someday that would change but she couldn't forgive me for now. So I cut her out of my life. Defriended her on Facebook. Quit texting her and quit talking to her. I don't know what's going to happen now. The thing that's weirdest about all of this is how little I've cried over everything. I've felt sad, guilty, and depressed, but I haven't been that sad about it all. I guess I feel oddly hopeful. I don't know what's going to happen to me next. Maybe Alecia and I will get back together (though if we did, it wouldn't be for a while. And It wouldn't been the same as before. Nothing is going to be the same). Maybe Lindsay and I will take a chance (Though I doubt that. I think she won't forgive me for this. And I read her blog post (yes, I read the post about me Linds, but I won't read any more after today (Not a guarantee)) And I don't really think we're right for each other. Nothing against her. She's great. She's a way better person than I am. And I wish there was something here, but something just feels off about us.) Or maybe I'll meet someone new. Maybe I've already met someone and I just don't even know it yet. Who knows? Anything can happen here. I guess it's all just a new adventure waiting to be had.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">So why say all this where anyone can see this and know my most innermost emotions? I guess Lindsay can be thanked for that. She said people should quit being so fake. People should be more honest. Especially me. She was right. I never was honest, at least not 100 percent honest with anyone. Not even myself. And I think she's right. I've decided to quit hiding my thoughts. I'm gonna be more honest from here on out. People may like this. Others may think i'm retarded for doing this. I quit caring what people think of me. That's not entirely true. I do care. But some of you are going to not like me. There's nothing I can do about that. But those of you who do care about me, those are the people who I care about.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">So now what to do with my life. Most of my friends are in other cities. I have some friends here, but outside of Ultimate, it's a little weird hanging out with them. I guess I'll write more blog posts (Don't take that as a promise that I'll write more. I might but we'll see). And I'll be home more too. I guess I can walk around a lot. I might go to the cemetery more and feed the squirrels. (<3 you Victoria) But I don't know where I'll go next. Or what I'll do next. But I'm excited to find out. Guess that's it for now. Stay sexy internet.</span>twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-27724381768691473542015-03-27T01:17:00.001-06:002015-03-27T01:17:01.623-06:002014: A Review: Part 3: Like all good things and bad things, things must come to an endI think I'm going to have a great story to tell about Treefort happening this year. So I need to finish this now.<br />
<br />
October 2014<br />
<br />
The last part of the year, is going to be rather short, don't worry.<br />
<br />
So Bree and I hung out a few times and went on a date. Things really seemed like they were going well. It wasn't long before I really started to get a feel for what kind of person she was. This isn't totally true, but in a lot of ways, she reminded me of Alecia. Just in the way she carried herself. Her personality. They were just very similar. I think that's what attracted me to her really.<br />
<br />
November 2014<br />
<br />
So things were going well for a while... until she just quit talking to me. And for a long time, I didn't know why. She was only working 2 days a week so I didn't see her much at work. Eventually, after a couple weeks of us not talking, we finally worked a shift together. So I confronted her about it. She told me she had run off with her ex and gotten married.<br />
<br />
Bad day number 5<br />
<br />
I don't think it's a shock to anyone that 3 of the 5 bad days were girls at least sorta breaking up with me.<br />
<br />
Anyways, for about 10 - 15 minutes, I went in the bathroom and cried. It was pretty shitty. However, it was Lindsay of all people who saved me again. There was this movie she loved, The Dish and the Spoon. Honestly, I wasn't a big fan of the movie when I watched it the first time. But it grew on me, especially after this incident.<br />
<br />
*Spoiler Alert*<br />
<br />
So the plot of the movie is this lady's husband cheats on her, so she runs off with this guy and... well honestly it's hard to describe what they do. She finds herself? (While finding the girl her boyfriend cheats on her with and kicking her ass). Anyways, at the end of the movie she goes back to her husband, and the guy she runs off with sorta... disappears.<br />
<br />
That's kinda how I felt. I was there to help put her back on the right path. And now I've disappeared from her life. She left Walgreens, we don't talk, we aren't even Facebook friends. Everything we ever were is in the past now.<br />
<br />
Honestly, Since this incident has happened with Bree, I've held no real grudges against her. Which is weird because it seems like she hurt me, but... I don't think I liked her enough for her to do any real damage to me. Not that I didn't like her, but we were only "together" for a few weeks at most.<br />
<br />
December 2014<br />
<br />
I don't remember much about December being eventful. I finished school. Tony and Kerynn came to town for Christmas. Spent a lot of time with the family. The only really eventful thing was me confessing I still have feelings for Lindsay.<br />
<br />
Which I don't think surprised anyone, even her. However, I think she was starting to date William at that time (which I'll have more to talk about during my next post), so she pushed me away. Told me that, as we both knew, it wasn't meant to be.<br />
<br />
So...<br />
<br />
What have I been doing the last couple months that's kept me so busy? Well, a lot of things, and I swear I'll have more to talk about when it comes to Treefort and Lindsay, but that's to wait until my next post. However, I think the most important thing I've been doing is finding out who I WANT to be, not who I think I SHOULD be. It's made me better as a person I think, and I'm far less depressed now. I'm not constantly feeling like I'm failing because I'm not with someone, I'm happy just being me. (Though there are still moments where I feel sad there isn't someone there)<br />
<br />
Anyways, that's all for tonight, but there will be much much more to talk about next time. I swear.twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-14619560343873988882015-01-15T04:20:00.000-07:002015-01-15T04:20:03.587-07:002014: A Review: Part 2: Sleep is the real enemyOk, I can't sleep, so where were we?<br />
<br />
July 2014<br />
<br />
This is starting over. I moved back into my parents house. I was pretty depressed most of the time. Fortunately for me, Sean got me a job with Neil making the tracks around football fields. This job was pretty good for me. It got me out of the house, and spending time with neil and sean so I didn't spend as much time hung up on Alecia. For a short period this was fine.<br />
<br />
Cool Kids - Echosmith<br />
Forest Whitaker - Bad Books<br />
Fader - The Temper Trap<br />
<br />
Then there was the second bad day (out of roughly 5 bad days this year, the first of which was the day I got back to the home in Poky after Alecia left.) We had just finished another day of work, and me and sean bought this cool Taco Bell sign that we were gonna hang in our apartment. I was feeling pretty good... until we got back to the hotel.<br />
<br />
First, Alecia was frustrated with our old roommates not paying their bills on our house that our names were (unfortunately) still on. Then, the people Teke were staying with said that Teke couldn't stay with them anymore because he wasn't getting along with their dog. Last, and worst of all, I found out Lindsay had gotten in a serious car accident... Her friend told me she was fine, only some bumps and bruises, but it was still terrifying. What if she had died? She'd be gone... and believe me, I'd be completely lost right now in this moment if it wasn't for her. She's always there to listen to me when I'm on the verge of breakdown. Even though we aren't together, I always feel so safe talking to her about my issues.<br />
<br />
Anyways, I talked to Neil after this and told him I couldn't work much longer because I needed to be around Teke. So I applied at the Walgreens that Marcus works at. I started a job there soon after that. I sent Lindsay some get well gifts, and things worked out with the ex roommates.<br />
<br />
It was around this time that I started talking to Meghan again. I had tried to set up a game of ultimate, which just happened to be our favorite sport. However, the person who promised people there didn't deliver, so it was just me, her, her sister, and about 5 of her friends. It wasn't much of a game, so we went to get some ice cream instead. I'm not too sure how this happened, but it ended up being just me, my friend Jordan, Meghan, and Meghan's sister, Angie. Angie and Jordan were already kinda friends from ISU so it sorta turned into this double date. Anyways, at the end of the night, I got the courage to ask her out on real date, and she said yes. So began my second summer romance.<br />
<br />
Over & Over - Smallpooks<br />
Lost in My Mind - The Head and the Heart<br />
Baby, It's Fact - Hellogoodbye<br />
<br />
August 2014<br />
<br />
While I do genuinely believe that she liked me, and possibly may still like me on this day, things don't always just work out that way. So we had our summer fling and I honestly thought things were going well, and I bet she did too, but she was going back to U of I for her last semester. She told me numerous times that she wasn't looking for a serious relationship, and I respected that, but deep down I knew that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted a relationship. Anyways she went back to U of I, and deep down I held onto this hope that we would get back together when she got back.<br />
<br />
A couple other days of interest from the month:<br />
<br />
The day I started at Walgreens: This day was important because I met another girl, Bree, who's part in this story doesn't come up until later.<br />
<br />
The day I contemplated suicide: Ok, I knew I wasn't actually going to do it. Suicide is such a selfish thing to do, but this day was an extremely awful day (Bad day number 3 (out of 5ish))<br />
<br />
Around this time, me and Sean were searching for an apartment together. We had picked a place but it wasn't pet friendly. So we decided we were going to sneak Teke in. We put down the deposit, but we soon read the rules and I felt like I didn't want to risk bringing Teke. This lead to us not getting our deposit back... It was a long and frustrating day, but it wasn't compounded by the fact that Alecia got a new boyfriend...<br />
<br />
A little tidbit about myself: I don't really accept things are over with a girl until she moves on. I can lie to you and myself all I want, but I know deep down a decent part of me still wanted her back, cheating and all. Hell, even today some part of me wants her back, even if my better judgement says I shouldn't, I think I was happiest with her.<br />
<br />
Sean was understanding about my predicament and didn't make too much of a big deal about losing that deposit.<br />
<br />
Anyways, the reason I say this was the day I contemplated suicide is because I actually ended up calling the suicide hotline. I just wanted someone new to talk to about it. They didn't really give me much help though. They kinda asked the questions I expected them to ask. Do you think you'll actually commit suicide? Do you need counseling? The truth was I just wanted to feel like I was having a conversation with someone. Not just answering questions about my sanity.<br />
<br />
The World at Large - Modest Mouse<br />
The First Single (You know me) - The Format<br />
Riptide - Vance Joy<br />
Tessellate - Tokyo Police Club<br />
<br />
Anyways, I got through those bad days. Bad days don't just get better instantly. It something you have to suffer through. They often linger for a couple days afterwards. Eventually though, you survive.<br />
<br />
September, 2014<br />
<br />
And you move on. So the new school year started. At first, I was full of hope and excitement. I was gonna get good grades. I was gonna make new friends. I was gonna be so good at getting girls. Life has an interesting way of humbling you. I ended up not really putting myself out there for most of my classes. I turned into another face in the crowd. I did join the Ultimate team at least. I met some new people through them but considering that a fair amount of the team is into certain drugs, and I, being a goodie two shoe, am not into certain drugs, I didn't make an amazing connection with them. Not that I don't like them or anything, it just feels like I'm one of the more forgettable members of the team.<br />
<br />
So, when the semester started Meghan told me to see other people. Not that she wasn't into me, again, I still believe she was, but she was always going to remain single. However, I didn't really put myself out there, so I didn't ask anyone out. I kept holding onto the fact that Meghan and I would get together when she got back. Of course, as most of you have probably noticed by now, we aren't.<br />
<br />
Chasin Honey - Wild Party<br />
Mr. Pitiful - Matt Costa<br />
<br />
October, 2014<br />
<br />
I found a weekend where I had a couple days off of work. I talked to Meghan and U of I was hosting a costume tournament. So we set up plans for me to come up. For about the first twenty four hours of the trip, things went well. I hung out with her roommates and her. I played ultimate. I had brought Teke. Everyone, and I mean every single person ever, loves Teke. So naturally, Teke's owner was pretty popular.<br />
<br />
However, it was around 4 pm on Saturday where things went wrong. (Bad day number 4) I started getting stuck in my own head... I think those of you who are reading this know about these things. Those days where you're stuck on such a shitty thought that you can't get off of? Yeah, I had one of those days. This though was, I'm just going to wait until Meghan moves back and I'll just date her then. However, she didn't really want that. She told me not to get out there and meet other people. If we both happen to be single when she moves back to Boise, then maybe it'll be fate. But don't expect that. Besides, she said she might want to travel the world. Move to San Fransisco or New York or Europe or something. She might just want to be single when that happens. Then she asked me what the problem really was. I realized I had put all my efforts into her. I guess in a weird way, this was her breaking up with me. I didn't realize this at the time, but I think she already knew she wasn't going to date me. She already had someone else she wanted to be with.<br />
<br />
So I spent the next several hours (5 pm to 3 am) trying to sleep with little success. Meghan told me that sleep would help. She was right, but getting to sleep was so difficult (much like it is tonight). However, when I woke up the next morning, I started feeling better. Me and Meghan talked more, and I decided I needed to move on from Meghan.<br />
<br />
Remember me briefly mentioning Bree? Well here's a little background on her. When I met her, she was engaged, however, her fiance cheated on her, and she subsequently broke up with him. (Sounds sorta familiar doesn't it?) Anyways, with our odd connection, I decided I should ask her out. It took about a 6 hour drive down from Moscow with me constantly telling myself, "You're going to ask out Bree. You're going to ask out Bree."<br />
<br />Eventually, I got to Walgreens, went up to her, and as soon as I got there, I just walked up to her and asked her out. She said yes. I was very happy for the next few days.<br />
<br />
It's Nice to be Alive - Ball Park Music<br />
I Wanna Get Better - Bleachers<br />
Something to Do - HelloGoodbye<br />
Changing of The Seasons - Two Door Cinema Club<br />
Lady of Late - Priory<br />
<br />
I think I'm tired enough to go to bed now, so I'll finish up the year next time, I promise.twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-64726004280538572262015-01-01T02:22:00.002-07:002015-01-01T02:22:32.032-07:002014: A Review: Part 1: Love is a cruel mistress, but I still love love.What a weird year 2014 was. I've been thinking a lot about this past year lately, as this seems the appropriate time to do so. It feels like this year I failed. A year ago today, I was engaged, I had my life figured out, and it seemed I knew what I was doing. Now? Well, I'm lost. I'm not sure what I'm doing really. I'm depressed honestly, but I think I've become a better person because of it. So lets take a moment to review my year. Alongside this, I'll list the songs I most enjoyed and defined myself during that time of the year.<br />
<br />
Winter:<br />
<br />
Things seemed simple for me at the time. I was engaged. I played video games. I went to school. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The exception being Lindsay. I knew Alecia wouldn't be happy when she found out, but I was still having occasional conversations with her. Never meeting with her or anything more than that, but simply talking. Of course Alecia couldn't trust me. She has trust issues that I believe go back to her first boyfriend, who cheated on her with one of her best friends. Of course, I didn't help these when I left her to pursue Lindsay. Even after I came back to her, she still struggled to trust me fully. I don't think I deserved that trust really. I don't know if there will ever be a time in my life where I don't want Lindsay to at least be my friend. I don't think Alecia would of ever been ok with that. I like to think me and Lindsay are just friends, but she always does linger in the back of my mind. She knows this but this is further down in the story.<br />
<br />
Clean Light - The Mowgli's<br />
Say it, Just Say it - The Mowgli's<br />
The Way We Get By - Spoon<br />
St Croix - Family of the Year<br />
<br />
Anyways, this continues until one eventful March night. She discovers I have a second twitter page. Actually that page was a cover for my first twitter page to hide the fact that I still use the first twitter page. I could of continued the lie if I wanted to but I wanted to end it. So I told her about the first twitter page and that I was still talking to Lindsay. She cried in the living room for what felt like hours, until she asked me to come out. I was ready for it to end that night.<br />
<br />But it didn't.<br />
<br />
We talked, and I remember being really shocked about one thing in particular. She gave the ultimatium: Alecia or Lindsay. I told her the truth. At the time, it was Alecia. But I told her she still lingered in my mind. That I still wanted her as a friend. She didn't seem to care about the second part so much as the first one which actually frustrated me for a while. However this lead to what I consider one of Alecia's greatest moments of growth I ever did see.<br />
<br />
A couple days after this fight, we talk about it again. She tries to accept that we are friends and allows this to happen with one rule, she wants to be friends with her too. For a while this seems to be working and I have hope that this can work. I can be in a relationship with Alecia while being friends with Lindsay. However, for those of you who know me, or even read my blog occasionally, you know how this ends.<br />
<br />
May:<br />
<br />
Alecia graduates and I'm happy for her. We start talking about possibly moving back to Boise. I know she wants to move back closer to her family and I know Sean and possibly Jared are going to attend BSU so I think we would both be happier there. I applied to BSU and I thought Alecia would be really happy about moving away from Lindsay, making it harder for us to be friends. Then she goes to Mexico. As a graduation present from her grandparents, she visits her grandparent's friends for a week in Mexico. There she meets Javier...<br />
<br />
It's my fault too. I knew it was tough for her being away from me with the possibility of me meeting up with Lindsay and her having no way of knowing. I could of messaged her more. I could of told her I missed her and I loved her more. There was a two day period when I didn't message her at all. For those of you who know me well (Sean in particular), you know I'm not very good at messaging. Just confirming and talking to people I forget to do too often. Anyways, that's when it happened. She cheated.<br />
<br />
I didn't know yet. So when she came back to Pocatello, I was still very happy to see her. However, she wasn't terribly excited to see me. In previous cases when we had been apart for a long period of time, she was very happy to see me, but it could tell it wasn't right this time. Something was wrong. I wasn't sure of what until one fateful Friday. I was taking a nap and when I woke up, I wanted to watch some videos on my computer. At the time, my laptop's monitor was breaking. So I decided to use Alecia. When I opened it, facebook was open with two message conversations going. One was with Hailey, her best friend. The other was with Javier... You could tell a lot about the way they were talking that it was clear they weren't just friends. But I had to look at Hailey's messages to be sure. A little ways up the page you could see it.<br />
<br />
"And I maaayyy have made out with a guy"<br />
<br />
I looked at more of her messages. It wasn't remorse or guilt she felt. She was fine. She had just assumed that I cheated and that we had ended. I confronted her when she got home later. She didn't feel true remorse. I recall an incident about a year earlier when she told me she had accidently kissed Liam. She was so scared that we would end. She cried and struggled for a few days but I believed her when she said it was an accident. This time, she wasn't really sorry. She had accepted that it was the end.<br />
<br />
Though we didn't end it right there. We both decided to go back to Boise and think about this.<br />
<br />
Marlaina Kamikaze - The Zolas<br />
The Great Collapse - The Zolas<br />
Coney Island - Good Old War<br />
Crystal Vases - The Last Royals<br />
Butch - Saint Motel<br />
Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars<br />
<br />
But I couldn't. I couldn't truly imagine life without her for a while. Not until I got back to Boise and saw she had moved out. That was the worst moment of 2014, possibly my life. I cried. I cried openly. I even cried later that night when watching The Pursuit of Happyness at the plasma center. God, why did it have to be that movie. It's such a depressing movie for me, even though it has a happy ending. I didn't get to watch the end. The plasma center can be cruel in that way. Sometimes you get really into a movie and have to leave when things get interesting.<br />
<br />
But God bless Lindsay Ladell. She kept me together when I was at my weakest. I recall this trip to Boise we took together. I had a meeting with Boise State advising and she wanted to visit some friends so we went together. I was actually happy during that trip. Even though it was only a few days after the breakup with Alecia, I was actually truly happy. One thing I remember in particular about that trip was the speed I was going. Normally on a 75mph highway, I drive around 80mph. However, I actually drove around 73mph with her in the car. I just wanted my time with her to last a few minutes longer.<br />
<br />
June:<br />
<br />
It wasn't long after that when Lindsay and I found our way back to each other. Were we a couple? Well, yes I think we were. Though neither of us would truly admit it, we sure did act like a couple. It sure did hurt both of us when we ended. I think of her fondly still as a former companion. We went swimming and to fancy pizza restaurants where we tried to recreate photos of her friends. We went shopping and she tried to get me to step out of my comfort zone. We got married. I think we were a couple. However, it was a short lived relationship.<br />
<br />
Time - The Mowgli's<br />
Where is My Mind? - Pixies<br />
Smoke Breathing Monsters - Desert Noises<br />
Summer Girl - Family of the Year<br />
<br />
Deep down I always knew I wanted to go back to Boise. I tried to convince myself that I could still go to ISU, but I really wanted to start over in Boise. Lindsay and I both knew that this would be the end of us... again, though we both didn't really admit it.<br />
<br />
One thing I've started to wonder lately is if Lindsay let me love her because she knew how wounded I was. Though there has always been this mutual attraction between us, we both knew it would never truly work out. It makes me think of one of my favorite moments in my favorite book: I am the messenger by Markus Zusak. The main character has always been in love with one of his best friends. However she knows she can't give him the love he wants back to him. However, in one moments he goes to her house and dances with her, doesn't say anything, just dances with her for 3 minutes. In those 3 minutes she is able to let go of those fears and just love him just for that brief moment.<br />
<br />
I like to think that was what Lindsay did for me. We both knew we couldn't give each other the love we wanted from the other, but she let me love her. It was for a brief month, and that month feels like such a long time ago, but she let me love her...<br />
<br />
July and beyond will have to come later. Believe me my few loyal followers, I have more to write, but I also have work in about 6 hours and would like a decent amount of sleep. There is so much to say and it's a struggle to say it right but I want to try, for myself.twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-17332561602031872052014-11-25T01:56:00.001-07:002014-11-25T02:04:08.329-07:00Oh Switzerland, You've taken away my breath now once again, You left me with a sense of compassion, for the ones who can't pick themselves up off the groundA few months ago there was a girl. She had recently got out of a very long relationship, much like myself. She had this rule for herself that she wasn't going to get into a relationship for at least a year because she needed to figure out what she was looking for in life. She also encouraged me to do the same. To not jump into a relationship in order to figure out who I am and what I'm looking for in a companion. That's what I've been trying to do with my life lately. I really think I've learned a lot about what I want.<br />
<br />
For example, my absolute favorite thing I want in life is someone I can talk to. With Jacquie, one night we talked for 4 hours on the phone, even though I had school the next day. With Addy, on the first night, we tossed a little foam ball back and for hours and we talked and talked and talked. With Alecia, one night we talked so late that we decided we had to pull an all-nighter. We went to our first class the next day and ended up sleeping the rest of the next day but I absolutely loved it. With Lindsay, I don't have an exact story, but even to this day, I truly feel that I can talk to her about anything. Any fear I have, any weak moment, or any sign of depression, I feel like I can talk to her and she'll help.<br />
<br />
I truly hate silence. Silence is depressing and gets me stuck in my own head about everything wrong with my life. Like when Alecia would cry and I would try to comfort her. I never knew what to say so I just tried being there for her. However, far too late in the relationship I realized that actually made her feel worse.<br />
<br />
I realized this about myself too. When I was about to move back to Boise and it was clear me and Lindsay were going to end, there was this one night. We said we were going to go dancing, but before we left she kept saying how I really didn't want to go. Then she didn't really say anything. She just left me in my own head and that drove me crazy.<br />
<br />
Oh Lindsay, she might be the most important person in my life right now. There's a lot of things that I learned from her. Like in her blog posts, she's very honest about my faults. She never really says anything bad to my face but she'll be very honest on there and say whats wrong. I appreciate the honesty really. Sure, it sucks finding out you're not prince charming and perfect in every way, but I know this will make me a better person. Like this one post that said something along the lines of: He doesn't miss people until it's too late to miss people. God dammit she's right. Example time:<br />
<br />
When I found out Alecia cheated on me, we didn't break up right away. We both went back to our respective parts of the Boise area and thought about what to do. I kept telling myself how much it would hurt. I kept telling myself you will miss her and want her back and you need to realize this before you actually break up with her and be truly ok with that. I couldn't do it though. I couldn't truly imagine how things were without her. I couldn't really do anything. I just let her decide. If she wanted to break up, we'd break up. If she didn't, we didn't. (Another thing I need to work on: not being so passive and deciding things for myself) So then we broke up and eventually I got back to our house in Pocatello and it hit me all at once. All her stuff was gone. She was gone. And it was too late to do shit about it. That night was one of the worst nights of my life. I tried talking to her, and at a couple points after the breakup, I tried to do little things to win Alecia back. It was too late. She's moved on.<br />
<br />
With Lindsay, I miss her too. I really do. And I like to think she misses me. There's this weird mutual understanding between the two of us. She's not what Alecia was to me. I'm not what Chris was to her. Yet we're there for each other, to pick each other up when the other is feeling weak. That's truly something I'll appreciate forever. Yet I wait far too long to truly miss her for it to matter. I could maybe make a difference to miss her right away, but it's pointless for nostalgic-ly missing her to do anything to change our situation.<br />
<br />
The weirdest thing about Lindsay though is that even though I truly believe she likes me and misses me, I don't think there's a person I've been worse to in my life. I broke up with Alecia to chase after her, and I don't think I ever realized the uncomfortable position that I put her in. Even though she liked me, she hid a lot of fears from me that I only learned about by reading her blog posts later. I then confirmed those fears by breaking up with her to get back together with Alecia. Later I started a relationship with her again, fully intending to end it when I moved back to Boise.<br />
<br />
Lindsay, if you're reading this, and I like to imagine that sometimes you do read this, I'm sorry. I'm realizing that so much of the way I used you was selfish. There's so much I have done that's been unfair to you and you deserve so much better. I mean it when I say you are one of the most wonderful incredible human beings I've ever known. I hope that no matter what happens in our lives, we continue to be friends and you continue to make me a better person.<br />
<br />
I guess I better apologize to everyone else too.<br />
<br />
Alecia, it still hurts what you did, but I know that this wasn't just your fault that we ended. It's my fault too. I could of been better and we could of worked on our relationship better. Please know that I will always love you. You were there for me at my weakest. I had not been in a relationship for more than a couple months and you taught me not to be afraid of commitment. I know it's still sometimes scary to completely give yourself to another person, but you did to me. Because of you, someday I'll be able to truly give myself to another person. Thank you for that Alecia.<br />
<br />
Addy, you were there for me no matter what, up until the point where I literally wouldn't talk to you. Even when I broke up with you and started dating other people, you wanted to be friends, and I threw that away. I'm sorry. I hope someday we can be friends again. I like to think it'll go better this time.<br />
<br />
Jacquie, I was young and knew absolutely nothing about relationships. Yet you took a chance on a naive little nerd. You taught me so much and made me so happy. I know so little about your life now even though I think we're still friends. I hope you've found happiness now. I hope things are going well in Montana and that someday we may talk again.<br />
<br />
So, I'm not really sure what to do now except keep learning. At the beginning I talked about another girl. Her name is Meghan. I just found out she's in a relationship now. Though something tells me this one won't last terribly long. She seems to have plans to see the world and explore and I think she wants to be single when she does. However, I could be completely wrong. She might of found the one and is happy and content in life. I'm realizing more and more that I suck at reading people so I haven't got a clue. But I hope to learn and I hope to grow. Most of all, I want to be a better person. I always want to be a better person than I was yesterday and I feel like I don't deserve the love I'm looking for until I become that better person. So it's up to me to earn that love.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
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twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-28141842934770908082014-08-15T02:27:00.001-06:002014-08-15T02:27:19.365-06:00We Change, More Than We Will Ever KnowIt's so crazy to think about how much life has changed for me. How just a few months ago I thought I had my whole life figured out. Now? I'm back at square one. I've moved back to my home city. I'm living at home for now but should be getting a place with Sean next week. I'm single, technically but I'll get into that later. I'm still an accounting major but I'm not sure if I want to do that. I was sorta jobless for a while but I finally got a job at Walgreens thanks to Marcus (who I seriously am so grateful for). I guess I'm trying to start over with my life.<br />
<br />
I'm really bad at thinking of proper segways but the point of this blogpost was going to be to look back at (most) of my relationships to figure out what I'm really looking for. Because out of all the things in my life, my jobs, my friends, my family, my schooling, nothing effects 22 year old Tim (and probably a lot of other 22 year olds) as much as my relationships.<br />
<br />
Jacquie: My first girlfriend. I'm not quite sure how to say it but she affected me more than anyone else. Mostly because she was the first. She's the reason I almost always say "I love you" way to soon (because she said it to me after the first date, and I, being a confused teenager, figured this is the time to say it back), she's the reason I tend to get back with a lot of my exes, (because we broke up and got back together 6 times), and she's the reason I suck at getting over people (because we got back together so many times, I didn't accept things were over til I saw her with someone else).<br />
<br />
I've spent a lot of time hung up on her, well after we finally, finally broke up, but I finally was ok with it being over when we stopped talking, which was about 2 years ago. It wasn't like we had some grand fight and quit talking. I can't recall anything major actually happening. It seems we just drifted apart. I like to imagine now that if she wanted to be friends again, I could be ok with being just friends, but I'm probably just lying to myself because I don't know any better.<br />
<br />
But I think the real reason we didn't work was because she just didn't feel for me how I felt for her. I was absolutely crazy about her, but I don't think she was really that crazy about me. She liked me, she really did, but I don't think she really loved me.<br />
<br />
Addy: Out of all the girls in my life, I probably feel worst about how things went and ended with Addy. She was sweet. She was funny. And most of all, I think she really really loved me, but if there's something I truly know about love it's this: Distance kills relationships. It murders it. It will take love and twist it into a deranged sad shell of its former self. We only lived 3 hours apart, but we were high school kids. We had no means to constantly visit each other. Just when we could convince our parents to meet up.<br />
<br />
When our senior year was coming to a close we discussed a possibility of both of us attending BSU in the fall and trying to make a real relationship work, but she really wanted to go to C of I, and I wanted to go to ISU. I think about this decision every now and then and honestly, I'm glad we went to our respective schools. I hate to say it, but I don't think we would of worked and we would of eventually resented each other for attending a school we didn't want to go to (ironic because now I'm going to BSU) and our relationship would of ended poorly.<br />
<br />
Well, that's not to say our relationship didn't end poorly. It did. Not because of her (Well, maybe a little because of her, but mostly because of me and Alecia). She really wanted to be friends after we broke up (oh, and we broke up because I hated distance and I didn't want to do it anymore), and I tried to be friends for a long time. Then she started seeing someone else, and I realized I wasn't over her really (Jacquie shining through me again). However, I did get over her after that, at least I think I did, but then I started dating Alecia and she felt like I wasn't over Addy, mostly because of the night I found out Addy moved on and I cried into Alecia's shoulder (Well before me and Alecia started dating though). After that, she really didn't trust that we were just friends. Then there was the time Addy got drunk and sent me a long facebook message. Alecia hated that. It's not like Alecia told me to stop talking to her, but when I stopped messaging Addy, Alecia and I got along much better. So I just stopped replying to her messages. Eventually, she stopped trying to talk to me. She eventually defriended me on Facebook and she's moving on with her life.<br />
<br />
Honestly, and I feel terrible saying this, but the reason we never worked out was because I didn't really love her. When we dated I was still super hung up on Jacquie. I even dumped her once because I had a chance with Jacquie, but eventually we got back together. She really is a fantastic person and I stop by her facebook page every once in a while to see how she's doing. I do wish her the best because I think she'll have a great life.<br />
<br />
Alecia: Oh Alecia. I'm not truly ready to go in depth about this relationship, but I will say a few things. I've been looking back, and realizing how things had been going poorly well before they ended. I've been trying to focus on not only what went wrong between us, but also, what am I really looking for in a wife, and how I can be a good boyfriend and husband. I know I did a lot of things wrong now and I'm going to try to be a better person because of it.<br />
<br />
Lindsay: While Jacquie affected how I handle relationships and breakups, I think Lindsay may have affected my personality more than anyone else in my life. She's the reason I listen to much more underground music. She's the reason I'm a much weirder person than I was as a teenager. She's the reason I skip and dance so much in public. I don't think I ever told her this but the reason I skipped all the time at Convergys was because of her. I was never that kind of person before. I was just so happy around her, it made me want to skip and dance and be happier. Now, I dance and skip all the time. In my car, at work, even just walking around. I skip and dance my heart out, even though I'm bad at it. I don't care. I'm just happy.<br />
<br />
So why didn't we work out? Well, I loved her and I think she loved me. She's an incredible and wonderful person that I like to imagine I would of enjoyed spending the rest of my life with, but the truth is that we never would of actually worked. I was still hung up on Alecia both times we dated (Jacquie shining though me again), and I think she was still hung up on Chris both times too. But even more than that, there was the one glaring thing that was always between us, religion. She was LDS and I wasn't. She was very devoted in her faith and I was never going to truly believe in it. I thought about faking it for her but she didn't really want that. She wants someone who truly believes in that. And I hope she finds him. Also, now that I've moved to Boise, we have 3 and a half hours between us. Once again, distance absolutely murders relationships. I could of stayed in Pocatello but right now there are too many painful memories there. Too many things there reminds me of Aleica.<br />
<br />
Weirdly enough though, she's the one ex who I would say is actually my friend. It's still a little awkward between us but I'm really glad she's my friend. She's an amazing person. The other weird thing with her is that although we had a fling two years ago, and a fling a couple months ago, we never actually truly were in a relationship. The first time I think it was because she wasn't comfortable dating me for awhile and I ended it before she could get comfortable. This last time? It was because we both knew it would end as soon as I went to Boise.<br />
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Meghan: Meghan is a very interesting case. I've had a crush on her in 8th grade. We were on the track team together back then and went on runs together, but I was 13. I barely knew how to talk to girls. I didn't have a clue how to ask them out. Then we drifted apart in high school. We didn't have any classes together and we weren't that great of friends. So we went our separate ways. Then late in senior year we started becoming friends again. She wrote her number in my yearbook and said we should go on a run together sometime. This girl doesn't know how much she saved me. Pretty soon into the summer, well after me and Addy had broken up, I was up at my cabin with my parents. I was still missing Jacquie a lot and was about to have a breakdown over her, when I realized I should try to go after Meghan again. So I texted her and said we should go for a run sometime and she said she loved to. I focused on trying to get her for a lot of the remaining summer.<br />
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However, I was 18, and I was still quite awful and asking girls out and picking up on signals. I remember 2 moments from that summer in particular. Once, Matt said he wanted to go on a double date with Kayla and me and another girl. I immediately thought to ask her. However, Matt only gave me a days notice, so I had no time to prepare. I asked her but she already had plans so I had to go with someone else. I wish it could of worked but sadly it didn't. The other moment from that summer, and I still hate myself sometimes for missing this moment, was the day she took me horseback riding. She absolutely loves horses and took me to ride her horse because I had never been horseback riding. Anyways, we were cleaning her horse and a song came on over the radio in the barn. She said, "Oh I love this song! It's a great dancing song." I nodded along and said it was a good song. It still slays me to this day that I DIDN'T TAKE HER BY THE HAND AND TRY TO DANCE WITH HER RIGHT THERE. I mean, that is romantic comedy 101 right there and I missed it. Even if you're bad at dancing she still appreciates the gesture. I was 18 still, I didn't know what I was doing.<br />
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Now? I'm 22 and much smarter about talking to women (Still stupid overall but smarter than before). We haven't really talked too much over the last 4 years but I reached out to her because I needed someone to look after Teke while I went out of town for work. She couldn't do it but we became friends again. And after a game of ultimate fell through and some ice cream. I couldn't miss out on another chance with this girl. This girl I've liked for almost a decade now. So I asked her out on a real date and she said yes. And now? Well, I really like her.<br />
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However, I'm so unsure of myself with Meghan. I think she's cool, I think she's fun, I think she's beautiful, and I really really like her. Yet, I'm not sure I am what she's looking for in life. However, for the first time since me and Alecia ended, I starting to feel more normal again. Ever since me and Alecia ended, I've been feeling... Out of place, if that makes sense. Like, when I'm with my family or my friends, I feel like I don't really belong, even though I love my family and my friends, I just feel like this should all be happening without me. Like I'm just not supposed to be there. Even with Lindsay, I didn't feel quite right, but I think that was because we both knew that the fling would end soon. But with Meghan, I feel like I fit in, like we fit together. So I really hope she likes me back.<br />
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And now I guess I try to take all that has happened to me, and all that I've done to these people, and make myself a better person for the future.twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-66062207662160408622014-05-27T17:44:00.001-06:002014-05-27T17:44:38.085-06:00This HouseI hate this stupid house. I hate how empty it feels. I hate that everything is gone, all the stuff I thought you'd take, and all the things I forgot were yours. I hate how everything here reminds me that you're not here. I can't stand being in this house. I want to leave right fucking now and go anywhere else.<br />
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I hate that in the week you were back, it didn't really seem like you were back. You were not the same. You didn't really miss me. You didn't really want to spend time with me. You weren't really there.<br />
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I hate that whenever I think I about forgiving you, all I can see is you making out with that guy. I hate that I couldn't even look you in the face when you left for the last time. I hate that you didn't tell me. I hate that I had to find out through messages. I hate that when I confronted you about it, you didn't seem as broken up as you should be. Hell, I remember how you felt when you accidentally kissed Liam. You were terrified, and distraught. This time, you didn't seem near as bad.<br />
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I hate that the way we broke up reminds me so much of how we broke up the first time. How we left the other person alone in the house with teke. How we cheated on each other.The way you were talking to Javier reminded me so much of how I talked with Lindsay. The way you've fallen for him like I fell for her. I remember reading through some messages of yours from when I broke up with you. Specifically one where you messaged that old co worker of yours. You were in hell, kinda like I feel now. It's so fucking awful. I guess this is my poetic justice.<br />
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I hate that through all the similarities of our two break ups, there is one glaring difference. It's that I don't think you will ever truly want me back. All I can remember is that with time, you were able to get over Juston alright. And I know it won't be near as easy, but I think you'll get over me to. You'll truly be ok not being with me. I know I've never truly gotten over any girl I've dated but I can accept the rest of them not being with me, but with you... I don't think there will ever be a point I'm ok with this. I hate that if you ever wanted me back, like I wanted you back before, it'd probably be pretty easy for you to get me.<br />
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And the thing I truly hate the most. The thing that haunts me, that makes this whole essay feel pointless, that makes me feel pointless, is that....<br />
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You're right.<br />
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We probably aren't meant for each other. twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-57909605520123151332013-06-13T14:01:00.001-06:002013-06-13T14:01:30.259-06:00Rushed out list of fresh beats from 2005Ok, I keep wanting to post. I start writing, get distracted, and never finish. So before I even start talking about stuff, I'm going to make a list of songs I like and no matter where I stop writing, I'm posting this much at least. Making that promise to myself.<br />
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Ghosts in empty houses - Jukebox the Ghost<br />
Half Crazy - Jukebox the Ghost<br />
Hey Julie - Fountain of Wayne<br />
Snails - The Format (Fun fact: Former band of Nate Ruess, lead singer of Fun)<br />
Stay Awake - Julia Nunes<br />
Something Salty, Something Sweet - River City Extension<br />
The Death of You and Me - Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds<br />
Sofa Song - The Kooks<br />
Cigarettes in the Theatre - Two Door Cinema Club<br />
Bicycles - The Maccabees<br />
Shout - Donora<br />
A Satellite, Stars and an Ocean Behind You - The Submarine<br />
Treasure - Bruno Mars (Ok, this song is obviously very popular and me liking it doesn't say much... but it's still catchy damnit)<br />
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There. Some of my favorite songs of the last couple months. I think you should listen to them, but I'm so guy on the internet. Not your mom. I can't make you do anything.<br />
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But anyways, things have been kinda...... ummm... I don't know. Not boring Just.... simple? I guess thats right. I wake up suuuppppper early (like 3am early), move boxes and stock stuff, and I'm done before 10 am. I go home and usually take a much needed nap, and then just sit around most of the day. I'm not bored or anything. I just don't get out much. :( I should do something about that.<br />
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And don't think that I'm depressed or anything. Things are simple for me and I like simple. Nothing confusing or worrysome in my life. (Though i know complicated things will find a way in, as they usually do). So I hope the simpleness stays for a while and I can get some time to relax.<br />
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Ok and TOP 5 SONGS RIGHT NOW<br />
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1. Stay Awake - Julia Nunes : I can't explain why this song is so damn catchy but I love it so much. Maybe I'm sympathizing with the lack of sleep thing.<br />
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2. Snails - The Format : Lyrics. I love these lyrics. And anyone who has turned on a radio in the last 2 years should know that Nate Ruess has a great voice.<br />
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3. Something Salty, Something Sweet - River City Extension : This song wins for having such an upbeat tempo.<br />
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4. A Satellite, Stars and an Ocean Behind You - The Submarines : I just found this song today. I'm positive that with a bit of time this song would of topped this list, and I think I'm going to be listening to this band a bit more in the future.<br />
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5. Bicycle - The Maccabees : Catchy. Upbeat. I think you've figured out the pattern by now.<br />
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There, pretty much finished a complete post. Happy now people who don't actually really pay attention to this?twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-40861079161196526482013-04-26T02:57:00.001-06:002013-04-26T02:58:32.124-06:00Poorly written somewhat incoherent rambling about music from a guy who should go to bed already.Honestly, this week has been tough for me. Stress gets pretty high around this point in the year. Anyways, I'm looking forward to blowing off some steam this weekend with some friends coming into town for some good times.<br />
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And I'm looking forward to this.<br />
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Yes I rather enjoy just writing to some people who don't know me. Well, some of you probably know me. It doesn't matter. Lets just get to what you all came here for...<br />
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I actually don't know why you're here. But I'm gonna talk about some more music. It's funny to think about how much my tastes have changed lately. I used to almost never listen to indie music. Heck, I remember those high school days of listening to Fall Out Boy and All American Rejects. Listening mostly to popular music. Speaking of FOB, I'm getting a nice hit of nostalgia with their new album. It's rather nice. But I'm going to go ahead and talk about some other songs I like though, like...<br />
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1. Camera One by Josh Joplin Group: Want to talk about nostalgia? Scrubs. Scrubs was a fantastic show. It was funny, it was touching, and damn it if it didn't have some good music. I could of made a whole playlist of music from that show. This song probably would of led all those songs. Kudos to Zach Braff for just knowing some good artist. Speaking of Zach Braff...<br />
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2. Someday by The Cary Brothers: So I was on reddit one day... or was it twitter? I was on something and I saw that Mr. Braff had started a kickstarter for a new movie he wanted to make. (Sidenote: He's raised about 1.7 million for that movie in 2 days, just from random people on the internet supporting him. Crazy) Anyways, watching his appeal to us peoples of the internet, I heard this song on it and made a note to listen to it. It's good stuff.<br />
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I guess I'm in a Zach Braff-y mood. I've even started rewatching some scrubs lately. Weird.<br />
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3. Always Where I Need to Be by The Kooks: The Kooks have been one of my favorite indie bands since I hit my indie kick. Them and The Wombats have always pretty much been my top 2. This is just a continuation of that kick. They make me happy. :)<br />
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4. Hurry Hurry by Air Traffic Controller: This song kinda reminds me of Be My Monster by Sleeper Agent. (Side Note on that song, I was right last week in that if I had waited a couple more days to post something, it would of been at the top of the list.) Anyways, this song just feels kind of weird. I don't know. I'm really bad at describing these songs. I really do think they're all good. They're all definitely worth a listening to.<br />
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5. Angels by The Xx: Ok. I had a lot trouble thinking of a way to describe this band. I looked up some stuff on them trying to figure out the right words for them when I came across the best description I could think of. Atmospheric. Make sense? No. You're probably going to hate these guys then. These guys have very moody and soulful music. If that isn't what you're into, you're aren't going to like them. Which is fine, everyone is entitled to their own style. This is a style I like.<br />
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Ok. This post isn't very good. I can acknowledge that. I'm tired. It's 3 am and I should go to bed. Yet I wanted to write. Sometimes, it's very relieving to write some stuff down. Even stuff about music that 95 percent of people don't care about. Sleep is nice too though. I'm going to do that too. But I think whoever you are, person reading this, you should go do something that'll make you happy. Even if it's as simple as lying in the grass and looking up at the clouds. Cause I think I'm going to do that. Not now. It's night. I'm going to sleep like a normal person. But maybe tomorrow. Maybe in two days. I'll take a moment to relax in a nice patch of grass.<br />
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<br />twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-86047758769407918472013-04-16T12:37:00.003-06:002013-04-17T00:17:23.043-06:00Some more songs that I like, a willful admission that I don't want snow anymore.It's the middle of April and it's snowing...<br />
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That isn't right.</div>
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The sun is supposed to be out. It supposed to be warm. I'm supposed to be playing frisbee with friends. </div>
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And alas, I'm inside. Writing another blog post. I spent the last week or so doing a big giant essay for english class. It wasn't too much fun. However, now that I have submitted it, I feel like writing for fun. I rather do enjoy writing just for me. To not have any restrictions or guidelines. I can mkae tihs sneentce as wong as I wnat and no 1 can say anythang. I can talk about whatever I want to talk about.</div>
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Like music. God do I love music. It's amazing how a good song can put a smile on my face even when I'm not feeling super duper awesome sauce. So here is a list of songs that put a big fat dumb smile on my face. Just a quick note, none of the songs on my previous list will be mentioned here. I still love all those songs previously mentioned, but this is just for songs I've recently discovered, like:</div>
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1. Synthesizers by Butch Walker and The Black Widows: Now this song is really great except for one part. The opening line. I hate the opening like. "Everybody's writing songs with synthesizers, but I don't have a synthesizer." fkl;jafsdklajflsdj I nearly ragequit this song every time I hear that line. It just feels like bad songwriting when you're rhyming synthesizer with synthesizer.</div>
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Random person reading this blog: But Tim, you have admitted to in the past liking such musical acts as Justin Bieber and Kesha who often have lyrics that rhyme baby with baby and other horrible things like that.</div>
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Me: Fair point random person reading this blog, but I'm not listening to those artists because they are create great lyrics. They make addicting beats. And damn it all if I don't love a good beat.</div>
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Random person: You like Bieber?</div>
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Me: I mean, he's an incredible douche, but "Top 40 hits are top 40 for a reason, they're catchy." -Dipper Pines</div>
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That all said, this song does have some good lyrics after that. And hey, damn it all if I don't love a good beat. And I think this song has a pretty good beat.</div>
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2. Death of Communication by Company of Theives: This isn't exactly one of those songs I skip to. It's catchy. It has good lyrics. Yet this song is more for when you're angry or upset and you just want to scream. I guess that's why all those angsty teenagers are listening to screamo-heavy-metal-making-your-ear-bleed music. Of course I still need those lyrics and beat to listen to it. Sorry Insane Clown Possy. I still won't listen to you.</div>
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3. Honey, Let Me Sing You a Song by Matt Hires: Is Matt Hires even really indie? He seems incredibly similar to Gavin Degraw. Not that Gavin Degraw is bad. Well, I didn't much care for his last single, that not over you song. But I loved those in love with a girl and i don't want to be songs. Even though those two songs were practically the same beat. It was a good beat. Anyways, back to Matt Hires. He's good. This song is good. Listen to it.</div>
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4. Be My Monster by Sleeper Agent: This song I just found two nights ago. I haven't listened to it a lot, however if I had waited two more days to write this, this song probably would of been higher on the list if I had gotten a few more listens in. I don't really know what to compare it to. So far, I've been subconsciously comparing each of these songs to some other random band. Well I guess this song is kinda all over the place. It doesn't have just one beat. It keeps changing. Kinda like me. I guess I like that.</div>
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5. Blue Eyes by Middle Brother: This song kinda covers my twangy country that I'm slowly getting into. Don't get me wrong, I still refuse to like most country. But this song does good. I feel kinda weird that a lot of these songs I like are about a guy trying to win a girl's heart. I guess I enjoy winning hearts.</div>
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Well that's it for now. It's easier if I don't wait multiple months to include songs in my top 5 cause then I don't have to do honorable mentions every time. Maybe I'll do more of this. Well have a good day internet. I'm gonna go walk home.</div>
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*looks outside at snow*</div>
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Yay.</div>
twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-19753122279910520342013-04-07T01:55:00.004-06:002013-04-07T02:00:44.910-06:00A Baker's Dozen of Songs I Like and More: A Small Insight Into My MindIt's pretty late on a Saturday night and I don't know why, but I came back and looked at some blog stuff. I feel kinda stupid looking at the stuff I posted 2 years ago. The stuff I posted last year too. I almost feel like a senile old man yelling at kids who look ridiculous in those baggy clothes. Except the kids are me in the past and the clothes are my old blog posts. Wait, this comparison is starting to feel equally ridiculous. Guess I can't really escape from who I am.<br />
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But the thing is, I have changed. I mean, everyone does. Someone once told me that when I left college, I wouldn't even recognize who I was my freshman year. Well I'm a junior now and I feel so different from who I was. I guess we all have changed a lot since 3 years ago. And yet, I know more changes are coming. Do we ever stop changing? I hope not. It's hard to explain, but I don't like things being so predictable. I don't want people to always know what I'm going to do next.<br />
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So can you guess what I'm gonna do next?<br />
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A list of my favorite songs right now.<br />
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Why?<br />
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God, do I love lists. I love statistical rankings saying this thing is better than that thing. The great thing about my tastes in music is that they are always changing. So the list always changes. Whereas two months ago I was listening to a whole bunch of Two Door Cinema Club, now I'm listening to...<br />
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1. Restless Heart by Matt Hires: If you were to be in a band, and the band's goal was, "Make a song that Tim will fall in love with" (It's an unusual goal, but I'm not one to tell you what your band should do), then let me give you one piece of advice. Make a song I can skip to. A song that I will dance to on the sidewalk to class in the morning and not care who sees me. I know this song is about a pretty girl who breaks the heart of our hero Matt, who in turn, decides that he wouldn't let her break his heart anymore. (There's a 75 percent chance I'm wrong about at least some of that) Yet this song has such an addicting beat that I listen to it over and over again. Everywhere I go, I listen to this. And I love it.<br />
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2. San Francisco by The Mowgli's: A lot of what was said in the above song (addicting beat, skipping, blah blah blah) can apply to this song. However, the other great thing about this song is the lyrics. I'm in love with love. God damn is that true for me. Say what you will, but I love love. The idea of something binding us together. If any of you know me decently well, you'll know that I want pretty much everyone to love me. Maybe not love. That's a little much, but I want everyone to like me. Lyke, if you were to see me and lyke, not know anything about me, your first impression would be, if I got to know that person, I would probably like him. I'm getting weird again aren't I? Really though, this song is about the fact that love is what makes us special. The people who love us, and the people we love.<br />
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3. Dear Life by Ross Copperman: Now feel free to correct me on this song if you wanna, but I'm 78 percent sure that this song is about a guy who is giving up on life. His life is in shambles and at the very end of the song, he's saying he'll get through (Dear Life, I know I'll find my way). Now I know that this song was not at all difficult to dissect, but I really like that meaning. You'd be surprised how the happy go lucky guy (Me) isn't actually as happy as his shell shows. So when life does suck, I know I'll find my way. I know things will be better. And I will love those better days.<br />
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4. Jump into the Fog by The Wombats: About a week ago, this song was at number 1 on my list. This song is really fantastic lyrically. And for all intents and purposes, The Wombats are my favorite band right now. So this song can be interpreted a lot of different ways I think. It could be about a 1 night stand with a prostitute (What a great achievement it was to get a hotel room this late... You don't look that hygienic anyways) It could be about getting into a relationship with someone that you've already failed with and hoping you don't get hurt as much this time (So jump into the fog, I just hope it's your bones that shatter, not mine). It could be about fog (fog). Well, it's probably the second one. At least I think so. And as someone who never seems to date someone just once, it's comforting to hope that the second (or third... or sixth) time won't hurt as much if it ends.<br />
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5. Kill the Director by The Wombats: Welp. This was a tough one. There is honestly like 10 songs that could of made this spot. In fact, I've just decided that I'll add a honorable mention area for those songs that could of made it here. So why did this song beat all those others. Well, catchy beat (see 1) and lyrics that I love. (I've met someone who makes me feel seasick. Oh what a skill to have, oh what a skill to have so many skills that make her distinctive). And a song that calls itself out as sounding like an angst-y teenage band, sounds pretty alright to me. Again, this is another song that would of been on top of this list about a month ago.<br />
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Honorable mention:<br />
What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club<br />
Undercover Martyn - Two Door Cinema Club<br />
Anna Sun - Walk the Moon (side note: A band named walk the moon with a song about a sun. There's a joke in there but I don't got it.)<br />
Naive - The Kooks<br />
Take a Walk - Passion Pit<br />
Heart Skipped a Beat - The Xx<br />
How'd You Like That - The Kooks<br />
Techno Fan - The Wombats<br />
The King and All of his Men - Wolf Gang<br />
Jilted Lovers and Broken Hearts - Brandon Flowers<br />
Whirring - The Joy Formidable (But only the first 3 minutes of this song. This isn't a live version. You don't need a 4 minute outro.)<br />
Waiting for my Chance to Come - Noah and The Whales (I just may go back and put this song in my top 5 cause this is such a good song IMO (in my opinion))<br />
Sometime Around Midnight - The Airbourne Toxic Event<br />
Itchin on a Photograph - Grouplove (These guys get bonus points for having my favorite album title: Never Trust a Happy Song)<br />
Changing - The Airbourne Toxic Event<br />
Shake Me Down - Cage the Elephant<br />
Up in the Clouds - Darwin Deez (Damn it, maybe I should of made this a top ten list.)<br />
Turn on Me - The Shins<br />
Two Doors Down - Mystery Jets<br />
End of a Spark - Tokyo Police Club (That's it. I'm definitely making some revisions to this list.)<br />
Zoo - Dog is Dead<br />
Reptilla - The Strokes<br />
Girls Like You - The Naked and Famous<br />
See the Sun - The Kooks<br />
Bambi -Tokyo Police Club (I think I have a thing for Clubs. I don't know why)<br />
Books from Boxes - Maximo Park<br />
The Swimming Song - Vetiver<br />
Forever - Matt Hires<br />
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Ummm.. ok. That's it. I think. I mean. That's all I know right now. All these songs are very good. I chose these songs because these songs would of been in my top 5 at some point in the last few months. I thought there would only be ten-ish when I started. Boy was I wrong. Anyways, let me revise the list to include the more accurate list of songs I like right now.<br />
1. Restless Heart - Matt Hires<br />
2. San Francisco - The Mowgli's<br />
3. Dear Life - Ross Copperman<br />
4. Jump into the Fog - The Wombats<br />
5. Kill the Director - The Wombats<br />
6. Waiting for My Chance to Come - Noah and The Whales<br />
7. Up in the Clouds - Darwin Deez<br />
8. End of a Spark - Tokyo Police Club<br />
9. What You Know - Two Door Cinema Club<br />
10. Take a Walk - Passion Pit<br />
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Ok. I think that's ok...<br />
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11. Changing - The Airbourne Toxic Event.<br />
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I should stop now.<br />
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12. Itchin on a Photograph - Grouplove<br />
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Ok. Twelve is a good number to stop on. A dozen.<br />
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13. Anna Sun - Walk the Moon<br />
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OK. I'M STOPPING RIGHT NOW. WE CAN CALL THIRTEEN A BAKERS DOZEN AND THAT'LL WORK. I'M PUTTING IT IN THE TITLE NOW.<br />
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Oh, and if you haven't noticed, rather than putting this in a nice neat orderly fashion that's much easier for you to understand, what you are seeing is the thought process I went through as I wrote this. It's a little bit more disorientating for you, the reader, but welcome to my mind nowadays. It's kind of all over the place. Anyways, Imma go to bed now. If you've read this far, you've earned a treat. Go cook yourself a brownie. You've earned it.twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-29421719116769594172011-03-02T23:43:00.000-07:002011-03-02T23:43:30.799-07:00I don't need an excuse like March for madness. I can do that anytime.I just realized how wrong my banner is on this blog. I don't have too much time on my hands anymore. My days are quite filled now that I have a girlfriend. This certainly isn't a bad thing. I enjoy being around her. However, you readers suffer more because of this. I'm quite sure you all worship me. (I'm taking the cocky Sean approach. Has it been 2 years yet? He needs to get back here already.)<br />
<br />
So as some of you may or may not know, I have a job. I know how shocking this must be to some of you. What, with me being such a rebel, I just don't seem like the type who can hold down a steady job. Well I work for a company called Cat Callers. What we do is call Alumni and try to get donations. It's a great job that pays pretty decently. If any of you ISU students are looking for a job, call them up. There are posters all over the campus with the number to call on there. They are almost always hiring. (and if you do call them, tell them Tim told you to do this. I get a bonus (does it make me a terrible person to use my blog to try and make money (I still miss Sean))).<br />
<br />
Gee, now I feel like I have nothing left to talk about involving my life. So now I need something to talk about on this blog. So get ready for<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">MY TOP 5 FAVORITE SHOWS RIGHT NOW</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Just some ground rules, this isn't my top 5 favorite shows of all time. This isn't the 5 shows that I think are the funniest or the most dramatic. These are just the 5 shows I LIKE the most that I am regularly watching right now. So sorry to my office friends, but I am too far behind on that to count it on my list.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">5. Sportscenter- Oh my gawd, I love sports. I even love sports I don't love. I love pretty much anything on ESPN. Even when they do bowling and billards, but there's something truly special about everything important in sports being crammed into one hour.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">4. How I Met Your Mother- This show just has a path to my heart. NPH man. NPH. This show also is probably the only show I actually like with a laugh track.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">3. Futurama- I overlooked this show 7 years ago during its original run. I just thought it was a cheap knockoff of The Simpsons. However it is actually a quality show that has made a fan out of me. Also, having every episode on Netflix has helped its cause. (on a side note, I absolutely love Netflix. Thank you Alecia's parents for getting it.)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">2. Tosh.0- Who would of thought a show starring my favorite comedian would be so high on this list? I mean sure it's incredibly unoriginal, a Talk Soup spinoff making fun of videos on the internet, how many shows are there like that? However, this one has Dan Tosh so suck it you other shows.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">1. Glee- Yes. Glee. I'm a Glee-tard. I base my entire week around Glee. Obviously the show still isn't as good as it was back in season 1, but I still love it. I can't wait for next weeks episode. I can't wait for any episode of Glee for that matter. I always check which songs they are doing ahead of time, just because i love it so much. Glee, glee, glee, glee, glee, glee, glee. I love Glee.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">So there you have it. My top 5 shows. That doesn't mean I don't like other shows. And i know some of you are gonna throw a hissy fit as soon as you see this list, whatever, I don't really care. Anyways, I think that will do for now. Keep it real peeps.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">(We Miss You Sean)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">From a hotel floor in Bozeman, </div><div style="text-align: left;">Tim</div>twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-2345151476899628352011-02-28T00:36:00.000-07:002011-02-28T00:36:46.533-07:00Back by unpopular demand: If you find something better on the internet to read, ask for a full refund. (You won't get it)Hello Carl. (I just blew some lucky guy's mind) Anyways, I decided it's time for me to get the old blog going again. I guess watching a lot of friends with blogs made me want to do some blogging too. So here I am, telling you what to do with your life. GO RIDE A CIRCUS RIDE!!!! <br />
<br />
Anyways, before I stopped writing last, I began writing a post. For your viewing pleasure, here is what I had started writing. Should give you a rough time guess as to when I was writing it:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So it's been quite a while since I last posted. I know a lot of you are disappointed with me. Seeing as it's so important that I stay up to date with my blog. I'll make sure that doesn't happen again. (who are we kidding? we both know I'm going to have long delays between certain posts.)<br />
<br />
So since my last post I had thanksgiving break. During that break, I did a lot of things. Mostly consisting of seeing Alecia and Sean. It sucked knowing it was going to be the last time I saw him for two years. He will be missed. However, our last days together were spent playing video games and watching The Office. We all know that's how we wanted to spend our last days together. <br />
<br />
Meanwhile, I got to visit Alecia a lot. We made a gingerbread house, met her family, and watched movies for a while. One movie we watched together was The Expendables. So get ready for another<br />
<br />
<div align="center"><strong>SPOILER ALERT.</strong></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Slyvester Stalone kills a lot of people. Things blow up. I just ruined the movie for you.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">And she got to meet my friends and family. It was a good week. Up until our return to <em><strike></strike></em>ISU. We returned on Sunday the 28th of November. There was a terrible snowstorm that day. We got about halfway through the trip before hitting the snow. We spun out shortly after that. We did about a 720 in spins. Not an actual 720, but we kept fishtailing back and forth that in the end totaled about a 720. That was scary. Then we reached a standstill. Apparently there was a crash. When we got up there, we saw the cars. And there were body bags. Also terrifying. Then, awhile later, A car in front of us started fishtailing. So we had to drive into a snowbank in order to avoid crashing into them. We were stuck there for a little bit but for some reason <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
And that's all I had written. If you want to know how that story ended, we were in the snowbank when this random mexican (were they mexican? It's been so long I can't really remember.) family came up to us and towed us out. I've never been bossed around by an 8 year old before (at least not since I was 12), but that little kid knew what he was doing. That drive took about 6 hours. It was awful. Never drive to Pocatello in the snow. You'll regret it.<br />
<br />
Anyways, if you want to know what I've been up to since I last posted, I've been watching a lot of tv. Hanging out with Alecia a lot (a lot a lot). Took a trip down to Provo last weekend. Quite the guys weekend. Jared taught me how to play League of Legend, I taught him how to not suck at Tetris Battle. Don't know if he took the advice. Saw Harry Potter 7 twice this weekend. Brings my total up to 5 times for that movie. Making it the movie I've seen the most in theatres. Beating Fantastic Mr. Fox (who had 3 viewings). I also started playing Fable 2 on my roommates xbox a bit. <br />
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Anyways, I think that's all I have to say for now. BECOME MIKE TYSON'S AGENT!!!!</div>twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-42927528191593972002010-11-25T20:57:00.000-07:002010-11-25T20:57:55.887-07:00Harry Potter, Harry Potter, OH EM GEEZ, it's Harry freakin' PotterI recently discovered how to check stats on my blog. I can see how many people have viewed my blogs, which posts have been the most popular, and what item they were using to check my blog. Out of the many page views I have gotten, 1 single view came from an Ipad. To that person who viewed me via ipad, wtf? why would you buy an ipad? I have a better idea, mail me the 400 bucks it cost to buy that thing, or you could just mail me the ipad. My golf swings have been slicing a bit lately. I could use some practice. (Tosh.0 fans will get that one)<br />
<br />
So, this past weekend, I went to the premiere of Harry Potter. It was quite the experience. So that's what I'll be talking about in this weeks<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>SPOILER ALERT.</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br />
</b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Anyways, you've been warned. So don't complain about me ruining this movie. The books should of pretty much done that. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">So first off, I attended this movie at carmike cinemas in Pocatello. We were in theatre 7 (cause someone just has to be in an odd numbered theatre). We got there about two hours before midnight. Ended up playing Solitare on our ipods for a while before my sister showed up with her friend artie (or R.D.? I don't really know...). They show up, and midnight rolls around and they show some previews for some movies. Which is unfortunate cause I believe a midnight premiere... should have a movie start at midnight. Am I crazy for thinking that? God I hope not. So that was boring until the preview for Cowboys and Aliens showed up. That preview was a joke... right? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Anyways, at 12:25 the movie finally starts. They start off with the scene where Harry says goodbye to the Dursleys. Which was a very good scene in the book cause Harry and Dudley sort of make up which I thought was rather nice. However, they completely cut that scene out of the movie. The Dursleys are just like "see ya later harry. Good luck saving the world." Freakin Dursleys.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Anyways, right after this, the Order comes to move Harry and he releases Hedwig into the night. Which I was soooo ready to call Bull**** on. Fortunately, they brought Hedwig back to take a hit for Harry. Which I thought was a rather nice way to die. Rather than just Hedwig flopping around in his cage and some death eater's wand just happens to drift lazily to the left to hit his cage. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Next scene, everyone is at the burrow. Lupin comes up to ask Harry Potter a question on Harry Potter trivia. He gets it right, which impressed me. Cause if my 8th grade teacher asked me what pet he had in his class the first time I went there, no way in hell I'd remember. I'm proud of HP for keeping up on his HP trivia knowledge. Next everyone returns to the burrow. George has his ear blown off. Makes his 'hole-y" joke. Haha. Big laugh. Then *bam* (insert Tim slamming his hands against a hard surface) Bill just comes up and drops the bombshell."Mad-eye is dead." Followed by such a long pause. I'm sure everyone in that room with Bill is thinking 'hey, we were enjoying that joke. Thanks for ruining the moment. ***hole."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Next, the big cock-block scene. By the way, for those of you at home keeping track, we are only like fifteen minutes into the movie. So Harry is all pimped out the day of the wedding. Then, Ginny comes up with her back exposed (s-c-a-n-d to the a to the l-o-u-s). She asks Harry to zip her up. He does, and then they start makking (which means kissing for those of you who haven't learned tim-speak yet). Then George does some pro-sneaking around and winds up near them. Harry and Ginny, so lost in the moment, don't notice him for a little while till they look over and see him enjoying the sight. At which point, I got mad at George. Harry is about to go off and save the world. All he wants is a little action from his girl and George has to go ruin that. Bad george. That is not cool.<br />
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Oh boy, I almost forgot about this scene (by the way, I'm writing this in parts over the last week). So Ron leaves. Shocker. I know. Hermione is really sad. What does Harry do now? Dances with her. Everyone in the theatre is confused. "I don't remember this part in the book." No one actually says that. We're all thinking it. Then the song ends. Harry and Hermione share an awkward look. Then she walks away. I thought she was gonna go in for the kiss. Nah. She just goes away. Not like he's gonna save the world or anything. You couldn't give him a little peck on the cheek? Real nice. Of course that would of proven Ronnie's suspicions that they were close, but I don't care about that. I'm team Harry f***ing Potter.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">So then some fighting and explosions happen. I don't really want to talk about those moments. I just want to get the moments that I find either humorous or freaky. The next scene I really care about is the horcrux scene. So Ronnie the bear returns saves Harry Potter from drowning. Thanks for that. Then Ron tries to destroy the horcrux and it explodes into this freaky smoke thing. Then a ghost Harry and a ghost Hermione emerge from the smoke trying to convince Ron that he'll fail. These ghosts are fully clothed while they are doing this. Then it cuts to a shot of Ron. Then it cuts back to the ghosts and they are naked and making out. It's tasteful naked. You can't see anything bad. The fog covers it up. Then Ron slices through it and that's it for naked ghost Harry and naked ghost Hermione. Needless to say, that scene freaked me out.<br />
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Finally, Dobby's death scene. Yes. It was sad. Portrayed really well. Almost as sad as Toy Story 3 was for me. Not quite crying but watered up the eyes. I can't believe I'm saying this but it was way sadder than the Dumbledore death was in the movie. Not in the book though. Dumbledore's death in the book was the only time I've ever cried reading a book. Sad stuff.<br />
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So yeah, that's Harry Potter 7 for you. Thank you for not sending hate mail about this. I know I probably have a terrible opinion. On I final note, I wish some of my best friends, Sean, Rob, Matt, and Mr. Kennedy the best wishes. Suffered a recent crash that sounded pretty terrifying but they're fine now. Anyways, keep it real. Thanks for reading. I'll see you when I see you.<br />
<br />
From home sweet home,<br />
Timmy D.</div>twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-52651371038960152882010-11-15T22:32:00.001-07:002010-11-15T22:33:37.796-07:00Cyanide, Happiness, and Harry PotterBoy, Philly is just destroying Washington. I only bring this up cause that's what I'm watching right now. It is rather funny. Michael Vick must have become a lot better in prison. I also wonder if going to rehab gave Eminem super powers. Why might I ask this? Look at the videos for Love the Way You Lie and Not Afraid. In Not Afraid, He freakin flies. In Love the Way You Lie, he lights on fire. He's got super powers people. And I'm Not Afraid of him. (Don't you Love the Way I Lie?) Anyways, lets take a look at recent things that have happened to me.<br />
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First off, Harry Potter. As most of you know, Harry Potter 7.1 comes out in just a few days. I, of course, am going to the midnight premiere. I mean, it's exciting. I've watched the first 4 harry potters over the last 5 days. We took a day off to watch The Other Guys. Which was a hilarious movie. Tonight, once Alecia gets back from her band banquet, we'll watch the 5th one. Tomorrow, the 6th one. Then on Wednesday, we're going to see Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Which I've already seen once, but I'm told it's even better the second time. Then on Thursday we'll head down to Carmike Cinemas to see HP 7-1. You excited for me? Cause I'm excited for me.<br />
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Next, classes. Classes aren't exactly too challenging this semester. But there are some entertaining parts of classes. For example, the other day in English, We had an argument about whether or not Marijuana should be legalized and this one girl, I think her name was Abbi or Addi. Can't remember for sure. Anyways, she tried to justify her argument by saying it was organic. Which got me to laugh for a good 90 seconds.<br />
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Our football team is continuing it's downward spiral to terrible-ness. We lost 45-17 against Sacremento State. 1-9 now. Our last game is at Eastern Washington. So we're basically screwed. However, our head coach got fired. Maybe we'll get lucky in our last game Like the cowboys did and win a game after firing their head coach.<br />
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Anyways, I think that's all there is to talk about right now. I'm coming home on Friday. Looking forward to seeing my old friends again. And maybe you guys will get a chance to meet some of my new friends. <br />
<br />
From a labtop that isn't mine,<br />
Tim Davistwss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-11042221154225373552010-11-03T15:38:00.002-06:002010-11-03T15:43:42.019-06:00With apologies to loyal ones, week 11 is hereWow. It's been way to long since my last post. I apologize to my many many followers. I have had a no free time these past few weeks. Why? Because my friend, Alecia Lee Stauffer has been taking up all my free time to hang out, do math, and watch movies. So who has suffered from this? You, my loyal followers... and my grades somewhat. We don't go to bed early. Anyways, now to talk about life.<br />
First, I got to go home a couple of weekends ago. First time I've been there in about 2 months. Lets sum it up like this. I got home around 5 30 on Friday. Ate dinner with the family, showed my parents an episode of the Simpson's that featured flight of the Concords, went to Linder Farms with Jacquie, went to Sean's house and watched The Office for a long time. Then we hung out in front of Sean's house talking for about an hour and a half, then Marcus drove me home and we talked for another 90 minutes. Ending my Friday. (quite the run-on sentence).<br />
<br />
Saturday, I woke up, ate breakfast, went to the mall with Addy so she could get a hair cut. Then I played frisbee with some of the old team. Followed by a trip to Wendy's. Then back to Sean's house for Modern Warfare 2 and Great Dalmuti. Great night. Then Addy and I returned to the house and watched The Incredibles. Then we went to bed and when we woke up on Sunday, we spent most of the day watching tv. Fun stuff. And now I'm back at ISU. Quite the weekend. For anyone at ISU, did you know you take exit 69 to get here? I saw that on the trip back. I got a dirty mind.<br />
<br />
In other news, ISU's all star football team managed to lose another close one. This one was actually close. 13-16 against Weber State. Then last weekend, we actually managed to get to overtime against Montana State. However, Montana State would win it on their first play on offense. It was... pathetic... to say the least. Now we're 1-7 and just... just terrible.<br />
In my classes, (at least the ones I manage to pull myself out of bed for) I am growing more and more bored. I can barely focus in Bio most days. However, two of my classes ended (college learning strategies & frisbee). So I have a lot more time to nap. This is fortunate, especially since I'm pretty sure my college learning strats teacher hates me. And all because on an assignment about time, I put "this class" as a time waster. <br />
I suppose the only class where I'm really entertained is English. Most recently, because of this discussion we had the other day. We were talking about the sizes of cities near pocatello. Someone said that Pocatello had about 50,000 people, and then the teacher asked, "Is that including Chubbick?" The girl who sits next to me (no idea what her name is) immediately says, "No! We are our town." And it surprised me how much pride she has in her town. Coming from a girl who has not said more than 3 sentences in the first 8 weeks.<br />
<br />
This last week has been rather exciting. First, I pulled an all nighter with Alecia. I still don't know why. We were having one of those really great conversations (the ones that you don't want to end). Next thing you know, it's 3:30 and she says "We're past the point of no return. No point in going to bed now." I could still easily get 5 hours of sleep and make it to my first class, but she insists we do the all the nighter. So we went to Winco to get muffins and Amps (The breakfast of champions) Then we listened to some Dan tosh until we were about ready to fall asleep. Then we went to our respective floors, took showers and got ready, and went to our first class... which was the only class I went to that day. I took a long nap afterwards and did not return to any other class.<br />
<br />
So that was an adventure. Then this last weekend was Halloween. So on Saturday, we watched some scary movies. Such as Dead Silence and Paranormal Activity. And of course I still have scars from it. how does a scary movie give you scars? Well certain people get so terrified by these movies that they drive their nails into the nice guy sitting next to them. (you know who you are... and so does probably everyone else). Then on Sunday, we shot a short film for James' youtube page. here's the link. <br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1msm8Z1Qxs">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1msm8Z1Qxs</a><br />
Feel free to check it out. I make a short cameo in it. Then after that, while still in make-up, me and Alecia took Felicia trick or treating. It was her first time trick or treating... ever. What kind of (almost) 19 year old hasn't been trick or treating? So that was fun. In retrospect, we should of stopped by my sister's house. Apparently no one came to her house the whole night. So we could of gotten tons of candy. But that was fun. Then we watched silence of the lambs until we went to bed.<br />
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So this is all of the most exciting stuff that has happened in the last few weeks. Again, sorry for taking so long to post this stuff for you, my o' so loyal followers. I hope it won't take this long ever again... but it probably will.<br />
<br />
With hot cheese burns on his arm and neck,<br />
Tim Davistwss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-52177182962101461172010-10-10T12:48:00.001-06:002010-10-10T12:50:27.582-06:007 weeks, Texting Wars, Food, and Home <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZJ43dq5Jq95STGvMpnI9xwl12Im9DfD7PWNOE3302BlNxU8oVfeUTdTd0p6oZeR03N5Qt1QlGL9-jVrk1Coz4keZeh__8FBN8Rygm9dfebtYpbTgZKo4h_qmF-Av8jH6heli1TMYCooI/s1600/Taco+Bell+Pyramid.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" ex="true" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZJ43dq5Jq95STGvMpnI9xwl12Im9DfD7PWNOE3302BlNxU8oVfeUTdTd0p6oZeR03N5Qt1QlGL9-jVrk1Coz4keZeh__8FBN8Rygm9dfebtYpbTgZKo4h_qmF-Av8jH6heli1TMYCooI/s200/Taco+Bell+Pyramid.bmp" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Level 3</td></tr>
</tbody></table> <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Wow. Has it really been two weeks since my last blog post? I need to get to work. Sorry to the many many loyal followers I have right now. I have been so lazy. So I've been at college for 7 weeks now. Which means the Taco Bell pyramid is making some progress. <br />
</div>First off, I left Pocatello for the first time since arriving at college last Tuesday. That was quite an experience. Me and some other friends went to a Wal Mart all the way in Chubbick. For those of you who aren't experts on town distances, or don't have a globe on them, Chubbick is the town right next Pocatello. I think we might of traveled 15 miles in total... or maybe I've just lost my sense of distance, cause I can't remember. Anyways, I got some milk (now gone), pie tins (now busted), note cards, 100 grands bar (now gone), and soda (surprisingly, not yet gone). I am also returning to my hometown this upcoming weekend. Cannot wait to see the gang. 2 months is too long to go without seeing the bestie.<br />
<br />
Secondly, my phone has been used like crazy this week. Seriously, I don't think I've texted this much since I gotten it. Anyways, the pinnacle of my texting this week came from a texting war that took place on Wednesday. I was about a half hour late to Bio Lab (not important to the story, but I thought I should say so anyways), and my group is diligently at work. However, one girl in our group, Misty, is texting, as per usual. I can't remember how we got to it, but we ended up in a texting war. So if I texted last Wednesday afternoon, that's what it was about. It was close, but I ended up losing 102-104. So if you didn't text me back, you're the reason I lost.<br />
<br />
In other news, ISU's football team had another lost, shockingly. 38-3 against Portland State. A real nail bitter. How do they follow it up? 47-28 loss to Montana. So... 1-5 this season and last in the conference. And our team had so much hope going into the season.<br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Next, I realized what is really important at school. A couple weeks ago, some friends introduced me to this site called dearblankpleaseblank.com We saw this post that said, "Dear College Student, Please choose two of the following: Good sleep, good grades, or good friends. Sincerely, Your overpriced college. I have now realized that I've chosen good grades and good friends. Cause the amount of sleep I have gotten in the last couple weeks have plummeted. So thanks a lot for that friends and classes. Though since arriving at college, I've been sleeping in more, and attending Calc less. Honestly, that class is so easy.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>I've also realized that I have been subtly demoted to two meals a day. Lunch and Dinner. Cause I can't afford any other food. I can occasionally have a granola bar or some pudding, but that's about it. Thanks a lot college for doing that to me.<br />
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So school, and life will go on. This week will be my midterm week. The great thing is that after this week, I will be done with classes by noon (except on Wednesdays. Darn you bio lab.) Anyways, keep it real my loyal followers<br />
<br />
With blood red love written on his arms (emo, right?),<br />
Tim Davis<br />
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<br />
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</div>twss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-50510673884089734252010-09-26T23:07:00.001-06:002010-09-26T23:09:05.882-06:00Fries, Glee, Conchords, and JobsAnother week, another Taco Bell cup I add to the pyramid. Tomorrow, I'll have collected my sixth cup, which means I can now have a 3rd level on the pyramid. Yay for accomplishing something. <br />
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Anyhow, Just finished homecoming week here at ISU. A huge range of emotions throughout the week. A high when I got extra fries for dinner the other day. Yet, a low when our football team lost 32-7 in the big game against Northern Arizona. So... maybe it wasn't the best week of my life. <br />
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I mentioned in a blog post last week that I was hoping I'd remember everyone's name on our frisbee team. That clearly hasn't happened. I think I have about 75 percent of the team memorized now. So we are making progress.<br />
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On the good side though, Glee premiered this week. Definitely enjoyed that. Certainly enjoyable to watch. I enjoyed watching it with the gang at ISU. (If you can't catch a hint, I enjoyed the show) Certainly a lot of drama, lets hope it makes for a good season of glee. So how can glee get any better? How about we animate some cast members and put them on an episode of The Simpsons? Yeah, that sounds good, right? Well it gets better. Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie from Flight of The Conchords are in the episode too. And let me just say, I love those guys. Unfortunately, I missed that episode of The Simpsons. Though I will watch it online as soon as it gets posted. Something to look forward to in the near future.<br />
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One final note, since I'm such a good former employee, I'm gonna tell all of my readers who live in the Boise, Meridian, and Kuna area to head down to Linder Farms for a fun and affordable day with the family. It opened for the season on Friday, and it's a huge supporter of Boise State. So for all of you out there who bleed blue, that's the place to be. 7165 S. Linder Rd. (p.s. To the Linder Farms management who might happen to be reading this: please give me a good recommendation. I really need a job.)<br />
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Anyways, guess homecoming week wasn't as exciting as some of us would of hoped it would be. It might of been for some people, but I guess I just hang out with the wrong group of friends (sorry to my ISU friends who actually read my blog). So my next post will be either when something exciting actually happens to me, or next week...ish.<br />
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So from the 67 degree basement,<br />
Tim Davistwss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-78948093226656417592010-09-21T00:18:00.001-06:002010-09-21T00:20:52.890-06:00Homes, Explosions, and Other AbnormalitiesAlright second blog post. Lets get started.<br />
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So, as I mentioned last time, I had some homework to do. I had to write an essay in English. We had to write a descriptive essay about someone, something, or some place. I chose a place that changed my life. And it didn't just change my life. I know many lives were changed at this home to joy and happiness. Anyways, here is the essay that I wrote.<br />
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Home Away From Home</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When a group of friends hang out a lot, they usually have one spot where they hang out almost all the time. For example, if you've ever watched That 70's show, they're always hanging out in Eric's basement. I had a place just like that— the den of Kennedy's household; the happiest place on earth for me. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have been going to that den since 8th grade. I first went there when my friends Sean Kennedy and Conner Wesselman and I realized we had to work on a presentation outside of class. When I first went to their house, I never hung out with a lot of kids outside of school. So I wasn't sure what to expect. As I first entered their house, I noticed the many pictures of their family. I noticed a half finished puzzle in the living room and tons of food in the kitchen (which I would soon come to love). Then I walked down the stairs to the den. I was amazed with what I saw: couches, tvs, snacks, video games, and everything a nerd like me could ask. Needless to say, we pretty much got no work done on the project. We just hung out down there playing video games and listening to music. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I started hanging out there all the time. I would spend at least 5-6 hours a week there, and that was just because I could only go when my parents could give me a ride, or my bike didn't have flats. However, as the years passed, I would hang out there more and more. When I got my license, I drove down to that house multiple times a week. It was awesome. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Slowly, the house started to evolve too. Eventually, they got Tivo, new gaming systems, new games, laptops, and wi fi. Seeing as I was a huge nerd, I couldn't imagine a better haven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This house had everything I wanted. I especially loved it because my house had nothing like this. My parents were more into nature and travel, while Sean's family preferred technology and modern stuff. It sometimes felt like more of a home than my own home, and I always had to something to do there. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The other thing I loved about it was the food. They always had snacks and drinks that I could have whenever I wanted. Unfortunately, I ate a lot of their food, and I mean a lot. It got to the point where they had to start putting restrictions on how much I ate there. In retrospect, I probably ate about few thousand dollars of their food, but they still loved me. I was the happy little friend of the family. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In my junior year of high school, my visits to their house almost became a regular thing. I would for sure visit every Monday because our group of friends had a tradition called Taco Bell Monday, where we would go to Taco Bell on Monday. And he lived the closest to a Taco Bell, so we'd meet, hang out at his house for a little bit, go to Taco Bell, then return to his house, and hang out for the entire afternoon at least. It was a happy time. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This last summer, I hung out there almost every day. Occasionally we'd go to my house or someone else's house, but it was almost always Sean's house that we went to. I knew I had to cherish my time there because I was leaving for college soon and I wouldn't see much of it anymore, so we hung out whenever we could at that house. Most days, we would just play video games, watch television, and surf the internet. Just doing all the stuff a regular nerd would. It may seem simple and stupid to most people, but it was probably the best summer of my life thus far, because hanging out with my friends like that was the most fun thing I can imagine doing, and we always had a great time.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now that I'm at college, I miss that house an awful lot. I hope to return there soon, because that place is like home to me, and yes, like most college freshman, I am homesick.</span></div>-------------<br />
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So that was fun to write. The essay isn't due till Thursday so if you see any ways to improve it, have any comments, or just want to tell me how (awesome/dull/average) it is, just leave a comment.<br />
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Anyways, last couple days have been pretty dull. Nothing super exciting has happened. I had soda blow up in my face yesterday, and not like you would expect it to. I was at one of those nozzle dispensers and I grabbed a cup, placed it under the dr pepper, and pressed the button. As soon as I hit that button, the nozzle flies off the machine, and soda flies everywhere within a three foot radius. I am rather soaked in it. They guy standing next to me just looks in shock... needless to say, after I cleaned up (and didn't tell anyone working there what happened. Sucks to be you, guy who got dr pepper right after me.) I got pepsi. It was a good choice in the end.<br />
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So that's the most exciting thing that happened to me so far this week. Btw, counted the alrights again of my bio teacher. 240 today. but he ended the lecture about 7 minutes early. So this might be slightly off. And looking forward to the premiere of glee tomorrow. Probably the best part of my week. So I don't know when my next post will be, but I'll probably have one by the end of the week. <br />
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oh yes, one last note. A shoutout to my friend Matt Bird. He is a pretty funny guy who goes to BYU (aka mormonville). He has a blog that's about as humorous as mine. So check it out at collegetheblog.blogspot.com.<br />
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So, until next time, from the still freezing basement of Turner,<br />
Tim Davistwss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4331440640587021424.post-69156983128626183922010-09-19T02:47:00.005-06:002010-09-19T17:15:41.630-06:00Pyramids, Issues, and Orgies So, after seeing the blogs of a couple friends of mine, and various other forms of talking to random people on the interwebs, I decided a blog might be a good idea. I suppose, Matt, you can take credit for this if you want to.<br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Anyways, I've been at school for 4 weeks now. I know this cause I go to Taco Bell every monday (It's a tradition with a rich history) and I save the cups so one day I can make a great pyramid... out of extra-large taco bell cups. Anyways, in that 4 weeks, I've meet tons of people. So many, that I can't remember almost any of their names. It's become an issue. I've joined an intermureal frisbee team full of people in my frisbee class, but I can't remember half the teams name. My goal by the end of this week is to figure out everyone's name. So hopefully, by next week, I'll be able to tell you everybody's name. </div><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> In other news, classes are going well. Obviously, my favorite class is my frisbee class, but second to that is biology. The reason for this is because of the teacher. One day, while we're in class, I notice my sister (yes, my 5th year sister is the same class as me) had a little tally going in the corner of her notes. I asked her what it was about and she said she was keeping track of how many times our teacher said "issues." At the end of the 50 minute lecture, he had said it around 45 times. We thought that was an issue. We were sorely mistaken. This is because that night, i brought it up with my bio lab class. They said I should count how many times he says "alright" at the end of the sentence. So I tell my sister about it right before class. After that 50 minute lecture, he had said alright 402 times. It was astounding. And we thought issues was an issue. So I've been keeping track since then. He hasn't come close to 402 since that first time we counted. Since then, I've counted 350, 291, and 275. He is steadily decreasing. My hope is that he will say it 500 times in one day, but that dream is a long ways away.</div> <br />
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</div> Dorm life is pretty interesting. I live in turner hall, which has been a rather interesting place so far. The most interesting thing was the orgy story. I should first explain that 3rd-5th floor in Turner is all guys. 6th-8th is all girls. I live on 3rd floor. And the most important thing to remember is that 4th floor is the party floor. So I have some friends who live on 7th floor, Felicia and Alecia. One late night, last weekend, apparently someone scattered a bunch of notes on the 7th floor that said...<br />
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"The biggest orgy of the year.<br />
4th floor midnight<br />
Condoms will be provided"<br />
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I've heard rumors that one girl actually went to this, but I'm not here to spread rumors. Though I don't know who did this, or how he got caught, he was caught. According to my friends who live on 4th floor, Dallas and James, he has been evicted from the building, and in a final act of defiance, decided to make his room really messy for the people who had to clean it... What a rebel.<br />
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Finally, I'd like to take moment to explain why I was listed as in a relationship last week on facebook. So I've sort become friends with this group from Kuna. (For those of you who don't know, I'm from Boise. So I know where Kuna is.) One of the people in this group is Joan. And her parents were in town. So I'm eating dinner with some of the people in this group and Joan walks in with her parents. Almost immediately, Amberlee tells me I should pretend like we're dating. Though reluctant at first, I decide to do. Something you should know about me, when I decide to do a joke, I commit to that joke. So after arguing with Joan for about ten minutes (right in front of her parents) about how I thought she loved me, I storm out of the room. I decide to head down to the basement (which is where the computers are) and get on facebook and change my status to "in a relationship." Right after that, I get a call from Amberlee telling me that I should make one last desperate attempt at winning Joan's heart in front of her parents. She and her parents are in her room on the 8th floor and I should go woo her. Being the committer I am, I head to my room, grab my ipod player, and head to the elevator. Coincidentally, everyone from the gang was in the elevator as I got in. So I get to the 8th floor. The door to her room is already open. And her and her parents are inside. So I set the ipod player right outside her door, turn on 1, 2, 3, 4 by the Plain White T's, and run to Amberlee's room (who happens to live right next door to Joan). So after the song is over, I head back to Joan's room, and I had this whole speech prepared about how this song expresses everything I feel for her, but as soon as I look inside her room, I see her dad, and he is staring right back at me. Needless to say, I was terrified. So I grabbed the ipod player, and ran back to Amberlee's room, and didn't leave till I was sure he was gone from the building. Anyhow, that's the story of my latest "facebook relationship."<br />
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So that's the most interesting things that have happened to me in the first few weeks. Though I'm sure to have plenty of stories to come. Monday is September 20th. Which is an important date to me. So that should be interesting. Glee starts on Tuesday. Definitely looking forward to that. And this week is homecoming week at ISU. So that means I should have lots of interesting stories about the people at ISU. My next post will probably be tomorrow. Cause I have 3 big homework assignments due by tuesday that I've been procrastinating. However, one of them is a paper about something that will always be close to my heart, that I want you guys to read. Spoiler Alert: It has something to do with the Kennedy Clan.<br />
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Anyways it's been fun.<br />
From the basement of Turner where it's always 67 degrees, but it always feels way colder,<br />
Tim Davistwss654http://www.blogger.com/profile/17754173455288755968noreply@blogger.com0